down into her lap； very selfconscious and still。
A gleam lit up in him： should he begin with her？ Should he
begin with her to live the other； the unadmitted life of his
desire？ Why not？ He had always been so good。 Save for his wife；
he was a virgin。 And why； when all women were different？ Why；
when he would only live once？ He wanted the other life。 His own
life was barren； not enough。 He wanted the other。
Her open mouth； showing the small； irregular； white teeth；
appealed to him。 It was open and ready。 It was so vulnerable。
Why should he not go in and enjoy what was there？ The slim arm
that went down so still and motionless to the lap； it was
pretty。 She would be small； he would be able almost to hold her
in his two hands。 She would be small； almost like a child； and
pretty。 Her childishness whetted him keenly。 She would he
helpless between his hands。
〃That was the best turn we've had；〃 he said to her； leaning
over as he clapped his hands。 He felt strong and unshakeable in
himself； set over against all the world。 His soul was keen and
watchful； glittering with a kind of amusement。 He was perfectly
selfcontained。 He was himself； the absolute； the rest of the
world was the object that should contribute to his being。
The girl started； turned round； her eyes lit up with an
almost painful flash of a smile； the colour came deeply in her
cheeks。
〃Yes； it eaninglessly； and she covered
her rather prominent teeth with her lips。 Then she sat looking
straight before her； seeing nothing； only conscious of the
colour burning in her cheeks。
It pricked him with a pleasant sensation。 His veins and his
nerves attended to her； she was so young and palpitating。
〃It's not such a good programme as last week's；〃 he said。
Again she half turned her face to him； and her clear； bright
eyes； bright like shallow water； filled with light； frightened；
yet involuntarily lighting and shaking with response。
〃Oh； isn't it！ I wasn't able to e last week。〃
He noted the mon accent。 It pleased him。 He knew what
class she came of。 Probably she was a warehouselass。 He was
glad she was a mon girl。
He proceeded to tell her about the last week's programme。 She
answered at random； very confusedly。 The colour burned in her
cheek。 Yet she always answered him。 The girl on the other side
sat remotely； obviously silent。 He ignored her。 All his address
was for his own girl； with her bright； shallow eyes and her
vulnerably opened mouth。
The talk went on； meaningless and random on her part； quite
deliberate and purposive on his。 It was a pleasure to him to
make this conversation； an activity pleasant as a fine game of
chance and skill。 He oured； but
so full of strength。 She fluttered beside his steady pressure of
warmth and his surety。
He saw the performance drawing to a close。 His senses were
alert and wilful。 He would press his advantages。 He followed her
and her plain friend down the stairs to the street。 It was
raining。
〃It's a nasty night；〃 he said。 〃Shall you e and have a
drink of somethinga cup of coffeeit's early
yet。〃
〃Oh； I don't think so；〃 she said； looking away into the
night。
〃I wish you would；〃 he said； putting himself as it were at
her mercy。 There was a moment's pause。
〃e to Rollins？〃 he said。
〃Nonot there。〃
〃To Carson's； then？〃
There was a silence。 The other girl hung on。 The man was the
centre of positive force。
〃Will your friend e as well？〃
There was another moment of silence； while the other girl
felt her ground。
〃No； thanks；〃 she said。 〃I've promised to meet a friend。〃
〃Another time； then？〃 he said。
〃Oh； thanks；〃 she replied； very awkward。
〃Good night；〃 he said。
〃See you later；〃 said his girl to her friend。
〃Where？〃 said the friend。
〃You know； Gertie；〃 replied his girl。
〃All right； Jennie。〃
The friend was gone into the darkness。 He turned with his
girl to the teashop。 They talked all the time。 He made his
sentences in sheer； almost muscular pleasure of exercising
himself with her。 He was looking at her all the time； perceiving
her； appreciating her； finding her out； gratifying himself with
her。 He could see distinct attractions in her； her eyebrows；
with their particular curve； gave him keen aesthetic pleasure。
Later on he would see her bright； pellucid eyes； like shallow
water； and know those。 And there remained the open； exposed
mouth； red and vulnerable。 That he reserved as yet。 And all the
while his eyes were on the girl； estimating and handling with
pleasure her young softness。 About the girl herself； who or what
she was； he cared nothing； he was quite unaware that she was
anybody。 She was just the sensual object of his attention。
〃Shall we go； then？〃 he said。
She rose in silence； as if acting without a mind； merely
physically。 He seemed to hold her in his will。 Outside it was
still raining。
〃Let's have a walk；〃 he said。 〃I don't mind the rain； do
you？〃
〃No； I don't mind it；〃 she said。
He was alert in every sense and fibre； and yet quite sure and
steady； and lit up； as if transfused。 He had a free sensation of
walking in his own darkness； not in anybody else's world at all。
He was purely a world to himself； he had nothing to do with any
general consciousness。 Just his own senses were supreme。 All the
rest was external； insignificant； leaving him alone with this
girl whom he wanted to absorb； whose properties he wanted to
absorb into his own senses。 He did not care about her； except
that he wanted to overe her resistance； to have her in his
power； fully and exhaustively to enjoy her。
They turned into the dark streets。 He held her umbrella over
her； and put his arm round her。 She walked as if she were
unaware。 But gradually； as he walked； he drew her a little
closer； into the movement of his side and hip。 She fitted in
there very well。 It was a real good fit； to walk with her like
this。 It made him exquisitely aware of his own muscular self。
And his hand that grasped her side felt one curve of her； and it
seemed like a new creation to him； a reality； an absolute； an
existing tangible beauty of the absolute。 It was like a star。
Everything in him was absorbed in the sensual delight of this
one small； firm curve in her body； that his hand； and his whole
being； had lighted upon。
He led her into the Park； where it was almost dark。 He
noticed a corner between two walls； under a great overhanging
bush of ivy。
〃Let us stand here a minute；〃 he said。
He put down the umbrella； and followed her into the corner；
retreating out of the rain。 He needed no eyes to see。 All he
wanted was to know through touch。 She was like a piece of
palpable darkness。 He found her in the darkness； put his arms
round her and his hands upon her。 She was silent and
inscrutable。 But he did not want to know anything about her； he
only wanted to discover her。 And through her clothing； what
absolute beauty he touched。
〃Take your hat off；〃 he said。
Silently； obediently； she shook off her hat and gave herself
to his arms again。 He liked herhe liked the feel of
herhe wanted to know her more closely。 He let his fingers
subtly seek out her cheek and neck。 What amazing beauty and
pleasure； in the dark！ His fingers had often touched Anna on the
face and neck like that。 What matter！ It was one man who touched
Anna； another who now touched this girl。 He liked best his new
self。 He was given over altogether to the sensuous knowledge of
this woman； and every moment he seemed to be touching absolute
beauty； something beyond knowledge。
Very close； marvelling and exceedingly joyful in their
discoveries； his hands pressed upon her； so subtly； so
seekingly； so finely and desirously searching her out； that she
too was almost swooning in the absolute of sensual knowledge。 In
utter sensual delight she clenched her knees； her thighs； her
loins together！ It was an added beauty to him。
But he was patiently working for her relaxation； patiently；
his whole being fixed in the smile of latent gratification； his
whole body electric with a subtle； powerful； reducing force upon
her。 So he came at length to kiss her； and she was almost
betrayed by his insidious kiss。 Her open mouth was too helpless
and unguarded。 He knew this； and his first kiss was very gentle；
and soft； and assuring； so assuring。 So that her soft；
defenseless mouth became assured； even bold； seeking upon his
mouth。 And he answered her gradually； gradually； his soft kiss
sinking in softly； softly； but ever more heavily； more heavily
yet； till it was too heavy for her to meet； and she began to
sink under it。 She was sinking； sinking； his smile of latent
gratification was being more tense； he was sure of her。 He
let the whole force of his will sink upon her to sweep her away。
But it was too great a shock for her。 With a sudden horrible
movement she ruptured the state that contained them both。
〃Don'tdon't！〃
It was a rather horrible cry that seemed to e out of her；
not to belong to her。 It was some strange agony of terror crying
out the words。 There was something vibrating and beside herself
in the noise。 His nerves ripped like silk。
〃What's the matter？〃 he said； as if calmly。 〃What's the
matter？〃
She came back to him； but trembling； reservedly this
time。
Her cry had given him gratification。 But he knew he had been
too sudden for her。 He was now careful。 For a while he merely
sheltered her。 Also there had broken a flaw into his perfect
will。 He wanted to persist； to begin again； to lead up to the
point where he had let himself go on her； and then manage more
carefully； successfully。 So far she had won。 And the battle was
not over yet。 But another voice woke in him and prompted him to
let her golet her go in contempt。
He sheltered her； and soothed her； and caressed her； and
kissed her； and again began to e nearer； nearer。 He gathered
himself together。 Even if he did not take her； he would make her
relax； he would fuse away her resistance。 So softly； softly；
with infinite caressiveness he kissed her； and the whole of his
being seemed to fondle her。 Till； at the verge； swooning at the
breaking point； there came from her a beaten； inarticulate；
moaning cry：
〃Don'toh； don't！〃
His veins fused with extreme voluptuousness。 For a moment he
almost lost control of himself； and continued automatically。 But
there was a moment of inaction； of cold suspension。 He was not
going to take her。 He drew her to him and soothed her； and
caressed her。 But the pure zest had gone。 She struggled to
herself and realized he was not going to take her。 And then； at
the very last moment； when his fondling had e near again； his
hot living desire despising her； against his cold sensual
desire； she broke violently away from him。
〃Don't；〃 she cried； harsh now with hatred； and she flung her
hand across and hit him violently。 〃Keep off of me。〃
His blood stood still for a moment。 Then the smile came again
within him； steady； cruel。
〃Why； what's the matter？〃 he said； with suave irony。
〃Nobody's going to hurt you。〃
〃I know what you want；〃 she said。
〃I know what I want；〃 he said。 〃What's the odds？〃
〃Well； you're not going to have it off me。〃
〃Aren't I？ Well； then I'm not。 It's no use crying about it；