¡¶The Rainbow-ºç(Ó¢ÎÄ°æ)¡·

ÏÂÔر¾Êé

Ìí¼ÓÊéÇ©

The Rainbow-ºç(Ó¢ÎÄ°æ)- µÚ35²¿·Ö


°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·­Ò³£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
corrosive¡¡as¡¡he¡¡heard¡¡her¡£¡¡Black¡¡and¡¡blind¡¡with¡¡hatred¡¡of¡¡her¡¡he
was¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡in¡¡a¡¡very¡¡black¡¡hell£»¡¡and¡¡could¡¡not¡¡escape¡£

He¡¡hated¡¡her¡¡for¡¡what¡¡she¡¡said¡£¡¡Did¡¡he¡¡not¡¡give¡¡her
everything£»¡¡was¡¡she¡¡not¡¡everything¡¡to¡¡him£¿¡¡And¡¡the¡¡shame¡¡was¡¡a
bitter¡¡fire¡¡in¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡she¡¡was¡¡everything¡¡to¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had
nothing¡¡but¡¡her¡£¡¡And¡¡then¡¡that¡¡she¡¡should¡¡taunt¡¡him¡¡with¡¡it£»
that¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡escape£¡¡¡The¡¡fire¡¡went¡¡black¡¡in¡¡his¡¡veins¡£¡¡For
try¡¡as¡¡he¡¡might£»¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡escape¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡everything¡¡to¡¡him£»
she¡¡was¡¡his¡¡life¡¡and¡¡his¡¡derivation¡£¡¡He¡¡depended¡¡on¡¡her¡£¡¡If¡¡she
were¡¡taken¡¡away£»¡¡he¡¡would¡¡collapse¡¡as¡¡a¡¡house¡¡from¡¡which¡¡the
central¡¡pillar¡¡is¡¡removed¡£

And¡¡she¡¡hated¡¡him£»¡¡because¡¡he¡¡depended¡¡on¡¡her¡¡so¡¡utterly¡£¡¡He
was¡¡horrible¡¡to¡¡her¡£¡¡She¡¡wanted¡¡to¡¡thrust¡¡him¡¡off£»¡¡to¡¡set¡¡him
apart¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡horrible¡¡that¡¡he¡¡should¡¡cleave¡¡to¡¡her£»¡¡so¡¡close£»
so¡¡close£»¡¡like¡¡leopard¡¡that¡¡had¡¡leapt¡¡on¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡fastened¡£

He¡¡went¡¡on¡¡from¡¡day¡¡to¡¡day¡¡in¡¡a¡¡blackness¡¡of¡¡rage¡¡and¡¡shame
and¡¡frustration¡£¡¡How¡¡he¡¡tortured¡¡himself£»¡¡to¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to¡¡get¡¡away
from¡¡her¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡as¡¡the¡¡rock¡¡on¡¡which¡¡he
stood£»¡¡with¡¡deep£»¡¡heaving¡¡water¡¡all¡¡round£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡unable¡¡to
swim¡£¡¡He¡¡must¡¡take¡¡his¡¡stand¡¡on¡¡her£»¡¡he¡¡must¡¡depend¡¡on
her¡£

What¡¡had¡¡he¡¡in¡¡life£»¡¡save¡¡her£¿¡¡Nothing¡£¡¡The¡¡rest¡¡was¡¡a¡¡great
heaving¡¡flood¡£¡¡The¡¡terror¡¡of¡¡the¡¡night¡¡of¡¡heaving£»¡¡overwhelming
flood£»¡¡which¡¡was¡¡his¡¡vision¡¡of¡¡life¡¡without¡¡her£»¡¡was¡¡too¡¡much
for¡¡him¡£¡¡He¡¡clung¡¡to¡¡her¡¡fiercely¡¡and¡¡abjectly¡£

And¡¡she¡¡beat¡¡him¡¡off£»¡¡she¡¡beat¡¡him¡¡off¡£¡¡Where¡¡could¡¡he¡¡turn£»
like¡¡a¡¡swimmer¡¡in¡¡a¡¡dark¡¡sea£»¡¡beaten¡¡off¡¡from¡¡his¡¡hold£»¡¡whither
could¡¡he¡¡turn£¿¡¡He¡¡wanted¡¡to¡¡leave¡¡her£»¡¡he¡¡wanted¡¡to¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to
leave¡¡her¡£¡¡For¡¡his¡¡soul's¡¡sake£»¡¡for¡¡his¡¡manhood's¡¡sake£»¡¡he¡¡must
be¡¡able¡¡to¡¡leave¡¡her¡£

But¡¡for¡¡what£¿¡¡She¡¡was¡¡the¡¡ark£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡the¡¡world¡¡was
flood¡£¡¡The¡¡only¡¡tangible£»¡¡secure¡¡thing¡¡was¡¡the¡¡woman¡£¡¡He¡¡could
leave¡¡her¡¡only¡¡for¡¡another¡¡woman¡£¡¡And¡¡where¡¡was¡¡the¡¡other¡¡woman£»
and¡¡who¡¡was¡¡the¡¡other¡¡woman£¿¡¡Besides£»¡¡he¡¡would¡¡be¡¡just¡¡in¡¡the
same¡¡state¡£¡¡Another¡¡woman¡¡would¡¡be¡¡woman£»¡¡the¡¡case¡¡would¡¡be¡¡the
same¡£

Why¡¡was¡¡she¡¡the¡¡all£»¡¡the¡¡everything£»¡¡why¡¡must¡¡he¡¡live¡¡only
through¡¡her£»¡¡why¡¡must¡¡he¡¡sink¡¡if¡¡he¡¡were¡¡detached¡¡from¡¡her£¿¡¡Why
must¡¡he¡¡cleave¡¡to¡¡her¡¡in¡¡a¡¡frenzy¡¡as¡¡for¡¡his¡¡very¡¡life£¿

The¡¡only¡¡other¡¡way¡¡to¡¡leave¡¡her¡¡was¡¡to¡¡die¡£¡¡The¡¡only¡¡straight
way¡¡to¡¡leave¡¡her¡¡was¡¡to¡¡die¡£¡¡His¡¡dark£»¡¡raging¡¡soul¡¡knew¡¡that¡£
But¡¡he¡¡had¡¡no¡¡desire¡¡for¡¡death¡£

Why¡¡could¡¡he¡¡not¡¡leave¡¡her£¿¡¡Why¡¡could¡¡he¡¡not¡¡throw¡¡himself
into¡¡the¡¡hidden¡¡water¡¡to¡¡live¡¡or¡¡die£»¡¡as¡¡might¡¡be£¿¡¡He¡¡could¡¡not£»
he¡¡could¡¡not¡£¡¡But¡¡supposing¡¡he¡¡went¡¡away£»¡¡right¡¡away£»¡¡and¡¡found
work£»¡¡and¡¡had¡¡a¡¡lodging¡¡again¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡be¡¡again¡¡as¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been
before¡£

But¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡£¡¡A¡¡woman£»¡¡he¡¡must¡¡have¡¡a¡¡woman¡£¡¡And
having¡¡a¡¡woman£»¡¡he¡¡must¡¡be¡¡free¡¡of¡¡her¡£¡¡It¡¡would¡¡be¡¡the¡¡same
position¡£¡¡For¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡be¡¡free¡¡of¡¡her¡£

For¡¡how¡¡can¡¡a¡¡man¡¡stand£»¡¡unless¡¡he¡¡have¡¡something¡¡sure¡¡under
his¡¡feet¡£¡¡Can¡¡a¡¡man¡¡tread¡¡the¡¡unstable¡¡water¡¡all¡¡his¡¡life£»¡¡and
call¡¡that¡¡standing£¿¡¡Better¡¡give¡¡in¡¡and¡¡drown¡¡at¡¡once¡£

And¡¡upon¡¡what¡¡could¡¡he¡¡stand£»¡¡save¡¡upon¡¡a¡¡woman£¿¡¡Was¡¡he¡¡then
like¡¡the¡¡old¡¡man¡¡of¡¡the¡¡seas£»¡¡impotent¡¡to¡¡move¡¡save¡¡upon¡¡the
back¡¡of¡¡another¡¡life£¿¡¡Was¡¡he¡¡impotent£»¡¡or¡¡a¡¡cripple£»¡¡or¡¡a
defective£»¡¡or¡¡a¡¡fragment£¿

It¡¡was¡¡black£»¡¡mad£»¡¡shameful¡¡torture£»¡¡the¡¡frenzy¡¡of¡¡fear£»¡¡the
frenzy¡¡of¡¡desire£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡horrible£»¡¡grasping¡¡backwash¡¡of
shame¡£

What¡¡was¡¡he¡¡afraid¡¡of£¿¡¡Why¡¡did¡¡life£»¡¡without¡¡Anna£»¡¡seem¡¡to
him¡¡just¡¡a¡¡horrible¡¡welter£»¡¡everything¡¡jostling¡¡in¡¡a
meaningless£»¡¡dark£»¡¡fathomless¡¡flood£¿¡¡Why£»¡¡if¡¡Anna¡¡left¡¡him¡¡even
for¡¡a¡¡week£»¡¡did¡¡he¡¡seem¡¡to¡¡be¡¡clinging¡¡like¡¡a¡¡madman¡¡to¡¡the¡¡edge
of¡¡reality£»¡¡and¡¡slipping¡¡surely£»¡¡surely¡¡into¡¡the¡¡flood¡¡of
unreality¡¡that¡¡would¡¡drown¡¡him¡£¡¡This¡¡horrible¡¡slipping¡¡into
unreality¡¡drove¡¡him¡¡mad£»¡¡his¡¡soul¡¡screamed¡¡with¡¡fear¡¡and
agony¡£

Yet¡¡she¡¡was¡¡pushing¡¡him¡¡off¡¡from¡¡her£»¡¡pushing¡¡him¡¡away£»
breaking¡¡his¡¡fingers¡¡from¡¡their¡¡hold¡¡on¡¡her£»¡¡persistently£»
ruthlessly¡£¡¡He¡¡wanted¡¡her¡¡to¡¡have¡¡pity¡£¡¡And¡¡sometimes¡¡for¡¡a
moment¡¡she¡¡had¡¡pity¡£¡¡But¡¡she¡¡always¡¡began¡¡again£»¡¡thrusting¡¡him
off£»¡¡into¡¡the¡¡deep¡¡water£»¡¡into¡¡the¡¡frenzy¡¡and¡¡agony¡¡of
uncertainty¡£

She¡¡became¡¡like¡¡a¡¡fury¡¡to¡¡him£»¡¡without¡¡any¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡Her
eyes¡¡were¡¡bright¡¡with¡¡a¡¡cold£»¡¡unmoving¡¡hatred¡£¡¡Then¡¡his¡¡heart
seemed¡¡to¡¡die¡¡in¡¡its¡¡last¡¡fear¡£¡¡She¡¡might¡¡push¡¡him¡¡off¡¡into¡¡the
deeps¡£

She¡¡would¡¡not¡¡sleep¡¡with¡¡him¡¡any¡¡more¡£¡¡She¡¡said¡¡he¡¡destroyed
her¡¡sleep¡£¡¡Up¡¡started¡¡all¡¡his¡¡frenzy¡¡and¡¡madness¡¡of¡¡fear¡¡and
suffering¡£¡¡She¡¡drove¡¡him¡¡away¡£¡¡Like¡¡a¡¡cowed£»¡¡lurking¡¡devil¡¡he
was¡¡driven¡¡off£»¡¡his¡¡mind¡¡working¡¡cunningly¡¡against¡¡her£»¡¡devising
evil¡¡for¡¡her¡£¡¡But¡¡she¡¡drove¡¡him¡¡off¡£¡¡In¡¡his¡¡moments¡¡of¡¡intense
suffering£»¡¡she¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡him¡¡inconceivable£»¡¡a¡¡monster£»¡¡the
principle¡¡of¡¡cruelty¡£

However¡¡her¡¡pity¡¡might¡¡give¡¡way¡¡for¡¡moments£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡hard¡¡and
cold¡¡as¡¡a¡¡jewel¡£¡¡He¡¡must¡¡be¡¡put¡¡off¡¡from¡¡her£»¡¡she¡¡must¡¡sleep
alone¡£¡¡She¡¡made¡¡him¡¡a¡¡bed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡small¡¡room¡£

And¡¡he¡¡lay¡¡there¡¡whipped£»¡¡his¡¡soul¡¡whipped¡¡almost¡¡to¡¡death£»
yet¡¡unchanged¡£¡¡He¡¡lay¡¡in¡¡agony¡¡of¡¡suffering£»¡¡thrown¡¡back¡¡into
unreality£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡man¡¡thrown¡¡overboard¡¡into¡¡a¡¡sea£»¡¡to¡¡swim¡¡till
he¡¡sinks£»¡¡because¡¡there¡¡is¡¡no¡¡hold£»¡¡only¡¡a¡¡wide£»¡¡weltering
sea¡£

He¡¡did¡¡not¡¡sleep£»¡¡save¡¡for¡¡the¡¡white¡¡sleep¡¡when¡¡a¡¡thin¡¡veil
is¡¡drawn¡¡over¡¡the¡¡mind¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡not¡¡sleep¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡awake£»¡¡and¡¡he
was¡¡not¡¡awake¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡not¡¡be¡¡alone¡£¡¡He¡¡needed¡¡to¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to
put¡¡his¡¡arms¡¡round¡¡her¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡not¡¡bear¡¡the¡¡empty¡¡space
against¡¡his¡¡breast£»¡¡where¡¡she¡¡used¡¡to¡¡be¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡not¡¡bear¡¡it¡£
He¡¡felt¡¡as¡¡if¡¡he¡¡were¡¡suspended¡¡in¡¡space£»¡¡held¡¡there¡¡by¡¡the¡¡grip
of¡¡his¡¡will¡£¡¡If¡¡he¡¡relaxed¡¡his¡¡will¡¡would¡¡fall£»¡¡fall¡¡through
endless¡¡space£»¡¡into¡¡the¡¡bottomless¡¡pit£»¡¡always¡¡falling£»
willless£»¡¡helpless£»¡¡nonexistent£»¡¡just¡¡dropping¡¡to¡¡extinction£»
falling¡¡till¡¡the¡¡fire¡¡of¡¡friction¡¡had¡¡burned¡¡out£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡falling
star£»¡¡then¡¡nothing£»¡¡nothing£»¡¡plete¡¡nothing¡£

He¡¡rose¡¡in¡¡the¡¡morning¡¡grey¡¡and¡¡unreal¡£¡¡And¡¡she¡¡seemed¡¡fond
of¡¡him¡¡again£»¡¡she¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡make¡¡up¡¡to¡¡him¡¡a¡¡little¡£

¡¨I¡¡slept¡¡well£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡said£»¡¡with¡¡her¡¡slightly¡¡false¡¡brightness¡£
¡¨Did¡¡you£¿¡¨

¡¨All¡¡right£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡answered¡£

He¡¡would¡¡never¡¡tell¡¡her¡£

For¡¡three¡¡or¡¡four¡¡nights¡¡he¡¡lay¡¡alone¡¡through¡¡the¡¡white
sleep£»¡¡his¡¡will¡¡unchanged£»¡¡unchanged£»¡¡still¡¡tense£»¡¡fixed¡¡in¡¡its
grip¡£¡¡Then£»¡¡as¡¡if¡¡she¡¡were¡¡revived¡¡and¡¡free¡¡to¡¡be¡¡fond¡¡of¡¡him
again£»¡¡deluded¡¡by¡¡his¡¡silence¡¡and¡¡seeming¡¡acquiescence£»¡¡moved
also¡¡by¡¡pity£»¡¡she¡¡took¡¡him¡¡back¡¡again¡£

Each¡¡night£»¡¡in¡¡spite¡¡of¡¡all¡¡the¡¡shame£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡waited¡¡with
agony¡¡for¡¡bedtime£»¡¡to¡¡see¡¡if¡¡she¡¡would¡¡shut¡¡him¡¡out¡£¡¡And¡¡each
night£»¡¡as£»¡¡in¡¡her¡¡false¡¡brightness£»¡¡she¡¡said¡¡Good¡¡night£»¡¡he¡¡felt
he¡¡must¡¡kill¡¡her¡¡or¡¡himself¡£¡¡But¡¡she¡¡asked¡¡for¡¡her¡¡kiss£»¡¡so
pathetically£»¡¡so¡¡prettily¡£¡¡So¡¡he¡¡kissed¡¡her£»¡¡whilst¡¡his¡¡heart
was¡¡ice¡£

And¡¡sometimes¡¡he¡¡went¡¡out¡£¡¡Once¡¡he¡¡sat¡¡for¡¡a¡¡long¡¡time¡¡in¡¡the
church¡¡porch£»¡¡before¡¡going¡¡in¡¡to¡¡bed¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡dark¡¡with¡¡a¡¡wind
blowing¡£¡¡He¡¡sat¡¡in¡¡the¡¡church¡¡porch¡¡and¡¡felt¡¡some¡¡shelter£»¡¡some
security¡£¡¡But¡¡it¡¡grew¡¡cold£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡must¡¡go¡¡in¡¡to¡¡bed¡£

Then¡¡came¡¡the¡¡night¡¡when¡¡she¡¡said£»¡¡putting¡¡her¡¡arms¡¡round¡¡him
and¡¡kissing¡¡him¡¡fondly£º

¡¨Stay¡¡with¡¡me¡¡tonight£»¡¡will¡¡you£¿¡¨

And¡¡he¡¡had¡¡stayed¡¡without¡¡demur¡£¡¡But¡¡his¡¡will¡¡had¡¡not
altered¡£¡¡He¡¡would¡¡have¡¡her¡¡fixed¡¡to¡¡him¡£

So¡¡that¡¡soon¡¡she¡¡told¡¡him¡¡again¡¡she¡¡must¡¡be¡¡alone¡£

¡¨I¡¡don't¡¡want¡¡to¡¡send¡¡you¡¡away¡£¡¡I¡¡want¡¡to¡¡sleep
with¡¡you¡£¡¡But¡¡I¡¡can't¡¡sleep£»¡¡you¡¡don't¡¡let¡¡me¡¡sleep¡£¡¨

His¡¡blood¡¡turned¡¡black¡¡in¡¡his¡¡veins¡£

¡¨What¡¡do¡¡you¡¡mean¡¡by¡¡such¡¡a¡¡thing£¿¡¡It's¡¡an¡¡arrant¡¡lie¡£¡¡I
don't¡¡let¡¡you¡¡sleep¡¨

¡¨But¡¡you¡¡don't¡£¡¡I¡¡sleep¡¡so¡¡well¡¡when¡¡I'm¡¡alone¡£¡¡And¡¡I¡¡can't
sleep¡¡when¡¡you're¡¡there¡£¡¡You¡¡do¡¡something¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡you¡¡put¡¡a
pressure¡¡on¡¡my¡¡head¡£¡¡And¡¡I¡¡must¡¡sleep£»¡¡now¡¡the¡¡child¡¡is
ing¡£¡¨

¡¨It's¡¡something¡¡in¡¡yourself£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡replied£»¡¡¡¨something¡¡wrong¡¡in
you¡£¡¨

Horrible¡¡in¡¡the¡¡extreme¡¡were¡¡these¡¡nocturnal¡¡bats£»¡¡when
all¡¡the¡¡world¡¡was¡¡asleep£»¡¡and¡¡they¡¡two¡¡were¡¡alone£»¡¡alone¡¡in¡¡the
world£»¡¡and¡¡repelling¡¡each¡¡other¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡hardly¡¡to¡¡be¡¡borne¡£

He¡¡went¡¡and¡¡lay¡¡down¡¡alone¡£¡¡And¡¡at¡¡length£»¡¡after¡¡a¡¡grey¡¡and
livid¡¡and¡¡ghastly¡¡period£»¡¡he¡¡relaxed£»¡¡something¡¡gave¡¡way¡¡in¡¡him¡£
He¡¡let¡¡go£»¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡care¡¡what¡¡became¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡Strange¡¡and¡¡dim
he¡¡became¡¡to¡¡himself£»¡¡to¡¡her£»¡¡to¡¡everybody¡£¡¡A¡¡vagueness¡¡had¡¡e
over¡¡everything£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡drowning¡£¡¡And¡¡it¡¡was¡¡an¡¡infinite¡¡relief
to¡¡drown£»¡¡a¡¡relief£»¡¡a¡¡great£»¡¡great¡¡relief¡£

He¡¡would¡¡insist¡¡no¡¡more£»¡¡he¡¡would¡¡force¡¡her¡¡no¡¡more¡£¡¡He¡¡would
force¡¡himself¡¡upon¡¡her¡¡no¡¡more¡£¡¡He¡¡would¡¡let¡¡go£»¡¡relax£»¡¡lapse£»
and¡¡what¡¡would¡¡be£»¡¡should¡¡be¡£

Yet¡¡he¡¡wanted¡¡her¡¡still£»¡¡he¡¡always£»¡¡always¡¡wanted¡¡her¡£¡¡In¡¡his
soul£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡desolate¡¡as¡¡a¡¡child£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡so¡¡helpless¡£¡¡Like¡¡a
child¡¡on¡¡its¡¡mother£»¡¡he¡¡depended¡¡on¡¡her¡¡for¡¡his¡¡living¡£¡¡He¡¡knew
it£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡he¡¡could¡¡hardly¡¡help¡¡it¡£

Yet¡¡he¡¡must¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to¡¡be¡¡alone¡£¡¡He¡¡must¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to¡¡lie¡¡down
alongside¡¡the¡¡empty¡¡space£»¡¡and¡¡let¡¡be¡£¡¡He¡¡must¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to¡¡leave
himself¡¡to¡¡the¡¡flood£»¡¡to¡¡sink¡¡or¡¡live¡¡as¡¡might¡¡be¡£¡¡For¡¡he
recognized¡¡at¡¡length¡¡his¡¡own¡¡limitation£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡limitation¡¡of
his¡¡power¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡to¡¡give¡¡in¡£

There¡¡was¡¡a¡¡stillness£»¡¡a¡¡wanness¡¡between¡¡them¡£¡¡Half¡¡at¡¡least
of¡¡the¡¡battle¡¡was¡¡over¡£¡¡Sometimes¡¡she¡¡wept¡¡as¡¡she¡¡went¡¡about£»
her¡¡heart¡¡was¡¡very¡¡heavy¡£¡¡But¡¡the¡¡child¡¡was¡¡always¡¡warm¡¡in¡¡her
womb¡£

They¡¡were¡¡friends¡¡again£»¡¡new£»¡¡subdued¡¡friends¡£¡¡But¡¡there¡¡was
a¡¡wanness¡¡between¡¡them¡£¡¡They¡¡slept¡¡together¡¡once¡¡more£»¡¡very
quietly£»¡¡and¡¡distinct£»¡¡not¡¡one¡¡together¡¡as¡¡before¡£¡¡And¡¡she¡¡was
intimate¡¡with¡¡him¡¡as¡¡at¡¡first¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡was¡¡very¡¡quiet£»¡¡and¡¡not
intimate¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡glad¡¡in¡¡his¡¡soul£»¡¡but¡¡for¡¡the¡¡time¡¡being¡¡he¡¡was
not¡¡alive¡£

He¡¡could¡¡sleep¡¡with¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡let¡¡her¡¡be¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡be¡¡alone
now¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡just¡¡learned¡¡what¡¡it¡¡was¡¡to¡¡be¡¡able¡¡to¡¡be¡¡alone¡£¡¡It
was¡¡right¡¡and¡¡peaceful¡£¡¡She¡¡had¡¡given¡¡him¡¡a¡¡new£»¡¡deeper¡¡freedom¡£
The¡¡world¡¡might¡¡be¡¡a¡¡welter¡¡of¡¡uncertainty£»¡¡but¡¡he¡¡was¡¡himself
now¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡e¡¡into¡¡his¡¡own¡¡existence¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡born¡¡for¡¡a
second¡¡time£»¡¡born¡¡at¡¡last¡¡unto¡¡himself£»¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡vast¡¡body¡¡of
humanity¡£¡¡Now¡¡at¡¡last¡¡he¡¡had¡¡a¡¡separate¡¡identity£»¡¡he¡¡existed
alone£»¡¡even¡¡if¡¡he¡¡were¡¡not¡¡quite¡¡alone¡£¡¡Before¡¡he¡¡had¡¡only
existed¡¡in¡¡so¡¡far¡¡as¡¡he¡¡had¡¡relations¡¡with¡¡another¡¡being¡£¡¡Now¡¡he
had¡¡an¡¡absolute¡¡selfas¡¡well¡¡as¡¡a¡¡relative¡¡self¡£

But¡¡it¡¡was¡¡a¡¡very¡¡dumb£»¡¡weak£»¡¡helpless¡¡self£»¡¡a¡¡crawling
nursling¡£¡¡He¡¡went¡¡about¡¡very¡¡quiet£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡a¡¡way£»¡¡submissive¡£¡¡He
had¡¡an¡¡unalterable¡¡self¡¡at¡¡last£»¡¡free£»¡¡separate£»
independent¡£

She¡¡was¡¡relieved£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡free¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡She¡¡had¡¡given¡¡him¡¡to
himself¡£¡¡She¡¡wept¡¡sometimes¡¡with¡¡tiredness¡¡and¡¡helplessness¡£¡¡But
he¡¡was¡¡a¡¡husband¡£¡¡And¡¡she¡¡seemed£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡child¡¡that¡¡was¡¡ing£»
to¡¡fet¡£¡¡It¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡make¡¡her¡¡warm¡¡and¡¡drowsy¡£¡¡She¡¡lapsed
into¡¡a¡¡long¡¡muse£»¡¡indistinct£»¡¡warm£»¡¡vague£»¡¡unwilling¡¡to¡¡be¡¡taken
out¡¡of¡¡her¡¡vagueness¡£¡¡And¡¡she¡¡rested¡¡on¡¡him¡¡also¡£

Sometimes¡¡she¡¡came¡¡to¡¡him¡¡with¡¡a¡¡strange¡¡light¡¡in¡¡her¡¡eyes£»
poignant£»¡¡pathetic£»¡¡as¡¡if¡¡she¡¡were¡¡asking¡¡for¡¡something¡£¡¡He
looked¡¡and¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡understand¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡so¡¡beautiful£»¡¡so
visionary£»¡¡the¡¡rays¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡go¡¡out¡¡of¡¡his¡¡breast¡¡to¡¡her£»¡¡like
a¡¡shining¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡there¡¡for¡¡her£»¡¡all¡¡for¡¡her¡£¡¡And¡¡she¡¡would¡¡hold
his¡¡breast£»¡¡and¡¡kiss¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡kiss¡¡it£»¡¡kneeling¡¡beside¡¡him£»¡¡she
who¡¡was¡¡waiting¡¡for¡¡the¡¡hour¡¡of¡¡her¡¡delivery¡£¡¡And¡¡he¡¡would¡¡lie
looking¡¡down¡¡at¡¡his¡¡breast£»¡¡till¡¡it¡¡seemed¡¡that¡¡his¡¡breast¡¡was
not¡¡himself£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡left¡¡it¡¡lying¡¡there¡£¡¡Yet¡¡it¡¡was¡¡himself
also£»¡¡and¡¡beautiful¡¡and¡¡bright¡¡with¡¡her¡¡kisses¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡glad¡¡with
a¡¡strange£»¡¡radiant¡¡pain¡£¡¡Whilst¡¡she¡¡kneeled¡¡beside¡¡him£»¡¡and
kissed¡¡his¡¡breast¡¡wit
СÌáʾ£º°´ »Ø³µ [Enter] ¼ü ·µ»ØÊéÄ¿£¬°´ ¡û ¼ü ·µ»ØÉÏÒ»Ò³£¬ °´ ¡ú ¼ü ½øÈëÏÂÒ»Ò³¡£ ÔÞһϠÌí¼ÓÊéÇ©¼ÓÈëÊé¼Ü