tg.stone of tears- 第105部分

　
　‘And　lying　is　not？’
　
　‘You　do　not　understand；　Richard；　why　I’m　angry。’
　
　Richard　sat　on　the　ground　and；　grasping　his　ankles；　folded　his　legs　in。　‘Maybe　I　do。　You’re　supposed　to　be　my　protector。　Not　the　other　way　around。　Maybe　you　feel　that　you　have　failed。　But　I　don’t　feel　that　you　failed。　We　both　just　did　what　we　had　to；　to　survive。’
　
　‘Did　what　we　must？’　Fine　wrinkles　radiated　around　her　eyes　as　they　narrowed。　‘As　I　recall　from　the　book；　when　Bonnie；　Geraldine；　and　Jessup　led　the　people　across　the　poison　river；　some　of　those　people　died。’
　
　Richard　smiled　to　himself。　‘So　you　really　did　read　it。’
　
　‘I　told　you　I　did！　That　was　foolhardy。　We　could　have　been　killed　taking　that　risk。’
　
　‘We　didn’t　have　any　choice。’
　
　‘You　always　have　a　choice；　Richard。　That　is　what　I　am　trying　to　teach　you。’　She　sat　back　on　her　heels。　‘The　wizards　who　created　that　place　thought　they　had　no　choice；　but　they　made　things　worse。　You　were　using　your　Han　back　there；　and　you　were　doing　it　without　understanding　the　consequences。’
　
　‘What　choice　did　we　have？’
　
　Hands　on　her　knees；　she　leaned　forward。　‘We　always　have　a　choice；　Richard。　You　were　lucky；　this　time；　that　your　use　of　magic　didn’t　get　you　killed。’
　
　‘What　are　you　talking　about？’
　
　Sister　Verna　drew　a　saddlebag　close　and　started　rummaging　through　it；　finally　pulling　out　a　green　cloth　bag。　‘You　got　some　blood　from　that　beast　on　your　arm。　Did　any　of　the　bugs　bite　you？’
　
　‘On　my　legs。’
　
　‘Show　me。’
　
　Richard　pulled　up　his　pant　legs　and　showed　her　the　swollen；　red　bites。　She　shook　her　head　and；　whispering　to　herself；　pulled　first　one　and　then　a　second　bottle　from　the　bag。
　
　With　a　stick　found　on　the　ground　nearby；　she　dipped　a　white　paste　from　one　bottle　and　wiped　it　onto　the　flat　of　a　knife　blade。　She　threw　the　stick　in　the　fire。　Taking　up　another　stick；　she　dipped　a　dark　paste　from　the　other　bottle　and　mixed　it　with　the　light　on　the　flat　of　the　blade；　then　spread　it　along　the　edge。　She　threw　the　second　stick；　with　some　of　the　mixed　paste　on　it；　into　the　fire。　Richard　flinched　when　it　exploded　in　a　white…hot　ball　of　fire　that　lifted　skyward；　dissipating　as　it　rose；　turning　to　a　boiling　cloud　of　black　smoke。
　
　She　held　up　the　knife　to　reveal　a　gray　paste　spread　on　the　blade。　‘Light　and　dark；　earth　and　sky。　Magic；　to　heal　what　would　otherwise　kill　you　by　tonight。　You　have　a　way　of　getting　yourself　out　onto　thin　limbs；　Richard。　Each　step　you　take　only　makes　your　predicament　worse。　Now；　e　over　here；　closer。’
　
　Richard　dug　his　heels　in　and　scooted　around　the　fire。　‘Were　you　trying　to　decide　whether　or　not　you　were　going　to　help　me？’
　
　‘Of　course　not。　This　is　made　from　powerful　magic；　constructed　magic；　to　smother　the　venom　injected　into　you　by　the　conjured　creatures。　Too　soon；　and　the　cure　would　kill　you。　Too　late；　the　bites　would　kill　you。　It　must　be　the　right　kind　of　magic；　at　the　right　time。　I　was　simply　waiting　for　the　proper　time。’
　
　Richard　wanted　to　argue　with　her；　but　instead　said；　‘Thank　you　for　helping　me。’　She　frowned　at　him　before　leaning　over　his　bites。　‘Sister；　how　was　I　making　things　worse？’
　
　‘You　were　being　reckless。　Using　magic　is　dangerous；　not　only　to　others；　but　to　the　one　who　calls　it　forth　as　well。’
　
　Richard　winced　as　she　drew　the　edge　across　one　of　the　bites；　first　one　way；　then　the　other；　cutting　an　X　on　it。　The　sting　made　his　eyes　water。
　
　‘How　can　it　be　dangerous　to　me？’
　
　She　concentrated　as　she　leaned　over　his　leg；　whispering　an　incantation　while　stroking　the　knife　across　his　swollen　flesh。　He　tried　not　to　jump　when　she　cut　the　next　bite。　She　was　only　making　light　cuts；　but　they　stung　fiercely。
　
　‘It　is　like　starting　a　fire　in　the　center　of　a　tinder　dry　wood。　You　find　yourself　in　the　center　of　the　fire；　in　the　center　of　what　you　have　started。　What　you　did　was　foolish　and　dangerous。’
　
　‘Sister　Verna；　I　was　trying　to　stay　alive。’
　
　She　jabbed　a　finger　at　one　of　the　painful　bites。　‘And　look　what　happened！　If　I　don’t　heal　you；　you’ll　die。’　She　finished　with　his　legs　and　turned　her　attention　to　his　arm。　‘When　we　were　being　attacked　by　those　beasts；　you　thought　to　save　us；　but　everything　you　did　only　increased　the　danger。’
　
　When　she　finished；　she　held　the　knife　blade　over　the　fire。　A　thin　stream　of　white　flame　roared　up　from　the　steel；　consuming　the　remaining　paste。　She　held　the　blade　to　the　fire　until　the　paste；　and　the　white　flame；　were　gone。
　
　‘If　I　hadn’t　acted；　Sister；　we　would　be　dead。’
　
　She　shook　the　hot　blade　at　him。　‘I　did　not　say　you　were　wrong　to　act！　I　said　you　acted　in　the　wrong　way！　You　used　the　wrong　kind　of　magic！’
　
　‘I　used　the　only　thing　I　had！　The　sword！’
　
　She　pitched　the　knife。　With　a　thunk；　it　stuck　solidly　in　a　piece　of　firewood。　‘Acting　without　knowing　the　consequences　of　the　magic　you　call　forth　is　perilous　behavior！’
　
　‘Well；　nothing　you　were　doing　was　helping！’
　
　Sister　Verna　rocked　back　on　her　heels；　stared　at　him　for　a　moment；　and　then　turned　to　busy　herself　with　replacing　the　bottles　in　the　green　bag。
　
　‘I’m　sorry；　Sister。　I　didn’t　really　mean　that。　It　didn’t　e　out　the　way　I　intended。　I　only　meant　that　you　weren’t　able　to　sense　the　way；　and　I　knew　if　we　stayed；　we　would　be　killed。’
　
　The　bottles　clinked　together　as　she　moved　them　around　in　the　bag。　She　seemed　to　be　having　difficulty　getting　them　packed　the　way　she　wanted。　‘Richard；　you　think　that　controlling　the　gift；　using　magic；　is　what　you　are　to　learn　with　us。　。　That　is　the　easy　part。　Knowing　what　kind　of　magic　to　use；　how　much　to　use；　when　to　use　it；　and　the　consequences　of　using　it；　that　is　the　hard　part。　That　is　the　meaning　of　everything。　How；　how　much；　when；　and　what　if　…　just　like　the　magic　I　have　put　on　your　bites。’
　
　She　fixed　him　with　a　deadly　serious　expression。　‘Without　that　knowledge；　you　are　a　blind　man　swinging　an　axe　in　a　crowd　of　children。　You　have　no　idea　of　the　danger　you　invoke　when　you　use　magic。　We　try　to　give　you　sight；　and　some　sense；　before　you　swing　that　axe。’
　
　Richard　picked　at　a　clump　of　grass　at　his　feet。　‘I　never　thought　about　it　that　way。’
　
　‘Perhaps；　if　anything；　I　should　be　angry　with　myself　for　being　foolish。　I　didn’t　think　there　was　anything　powerful　enough　to　tempt　me　into　a　trap。　I　was　wrong。　Thank　you；　Richard；　for　saving　me。’
　
　He　wrapped　a　long　stalk　of　grass　around　his　finger。　‘I　was　so　relieved　to　find　you　。。。　I　thought　you　were　dead。　I’m　glad　you’re　not。’
　
　She　had　pulled　all　the　little　bottles　out　of　the　bag　and　set　them　on　the　ground。　‘I　could　have　been　lost　in　that　spell　for　all　time。　I　should　have　been。’
　
　‘What　do　you　mean？’
　
　There　seemed　to　him　to　be　more　bottles　than　would　fit　into　the　bag；　but　then；　he　had　seen　them　all　e　out。　‘We　have　tried　to　rescue　Sisters　before。　We　have　seen　some；　and　their　charges；　lost　in　those　enchantment　spells。　I　saw　one；　the　first　time　I　went　through。　We　have　never　been　able　to　get　them　out。　Sisters　have　died　trying。’　She　started　replacing　the　bottles。　‘You　used　magic。’
　
　‘I　used　the　sword。　The　sword　has　magic；　you　know。’
　
　‘No。　You　didn’t　use　the　sword’s　magic。　You　used　your　Han；　even　though　you　didn’t　realize　it。　Using　your　Han　through　desire；　without　wisdom；　is　the　most　dangerous　thing　you　can　do。’
　
　‘Sister；　I　think　it　was　just　the　sword’s　magic。’
　
　‘When　you　called　to　me；　I　heard　you。　We　have　tried　to　call　to　others；　and　they　have　never　heard　us。　Not　once。’
　
　‘You　just　didn’t　know　how。　You　couldn’t　hear　me　either；　until　I　stepped　through　some　sort　of　sparkling　wall　around　you。　Then　you　could　hear　me。　You　just　have　to　step　through　that　wall　first。’
　
　She　pushed　bottles　to　each　side　to　make　more　room　as　she　spoke　softly。　‘We　know　that；　Richard。　We　have　tried　every　sort　of　magic；　and　have　never　been　able　to　pass　through　or　break　the　wall　of　one　of　these　spells；　or　been　able　to　get　the　attention　of　one　captured　by　it。　No　one　has　ever　been　brought　out　of　an　enchantment　spell　before。’　She　replaced　the　last　bottle　and　finally　turned　to　face　him。　‘Thank　you；　Richard。’
　
　He　shrugged　as　he　pulled　the　grass　off　his　finger。　‘Well；　it　was　the　least　I　could　do　to　make　up　for　what　I　did。’
　
　‘For　what　you　did？’
　
　Richard　occupied　himself　with　carefully　rolling　his　pants　back　down。　‘Well；　before　I　saved　you；　I　kind　of　killed　you。’
　
　She　leaned　closer。　‘You　did　what？’
　
　‘You　were　hurting　me。　With　your　magic。　With　the　collar。’
　
　Tm　sorry；　Richard。　I　was　in　the　spell　and　didn’t　realize　what　I　was　doing。　I　didn’t　intend　to　hurt　you。’
　
　He　shook　his　head。　‘Not　then。　Before。　In　the　white　tower。’
　
　She　leaned　even　closer　and　gritted　her　teeth。　‘You　went　into　a　tower？　Are　you　mad？　I　told　you　what　those　towers　are！　How　could　you　be　so　。。。’
　
　‘Sister。　I　had　no　choice。’
　
　‘We　have　already　discussed　choice。　I　told　you　how　dangerous　those　towers　are。　I　told　you　to　stay　away　from　them！’
　
　‘Look；　there　was　lightning　all　around。　It　was　trying　to　strike　me。　I　。。。　well；　I　didn’t　know　what　else　to　do。　So　I　dove　through　an　archway；　into　the　tower；　for　protection。’
　
　‘Can’t　you　follow　the　simplest　instructions？　Must　you　always　act　a　child？’
　
　Richard　looked　up　from　under　his　eyebrows。　‘Those　were　your　exact　words。　You　came　into　the　tower。　I　was　sure　it　was　you。　You　were　angry　with　me；　much　as　you　are　now；　and　you　used　those　exact　words。’
　
　He　gritted　his　teeth　as　he　put　a　finger　to　the　collar　at　his　neck。　‘You　used　this。　You　used　it　to　throw　me　against　the　wall；　and　pin　me　there　with　it。　Can　this　collar　do　that；　Sister？’
　
　She　sat　much　quieter。　‘Yes。　We　don’t　have　the　power　of　a　wizard；　the　male　Han。　The　collar　amplifies　our　power；　so　we　may　be　stronger　than　the　one　wearing　it。　So　we　can　teach　them。’
　
　His　voice　was　deep　with　anger。　‘Then　you　used　it　to　give　me　pain；　like　the　pain　you　did　for　real；　when　you　were　in　the　spell。　Only　it　was　stronger；　and　went　on　and　on。　Can　the　collar　do　that；　too；　Sister？’
　
　She　pulled　a　clump　of　grass　to　her　side　and　began　cleaning　her　hands　with　it；　avoiding　his　glare。　‘Yes。　But　that　was　a　vision；　Richard。　I　wasn’t　really　doing　it。’
　
　‘I　told　you　to　stop　hurting　me　or　I　would　put　a　stop　to　it。　You　wouldn’t　stop；　so　I　called　the　sword’s　magic　and　broke　the　bond　of　the　power　holding　me。　You　were　furious。　You　said　that　I　had　made　my　last　mistake。　You　said　you　were　going　to　kill　me　for　fighting　you。　You　were　going　to　kill　me；　Sister。’
　
　‘I’m　sorry；　Richard；’　she　whispered　as　she　looked　up；　‘that　you　had　to　suffer　that。’　Her　voice　regained　some　of　its　strength。　‘So；　what　did　you　do　to　me　。。。　to　the　vision　of　me？’　He　leaned　over　and　touched　the　edge　of　his　first　finger　to　the　side　of　her　shoulder。　‘I　cut　you　in　half　with　the　sword。　Right　here。’
　
　Her　hands　stopped；　she　was　stone　still。　Some　of　the　color　had　left　her　face。　Finally；　she　regained　her　posure。
　
　Richard　picked　at　the　clump　of　grass　by　his　foot　again。　‘I　didn’t　want　to　do　it；　but　I　was　positive　you　were　going　to　kill　me。’
　
　She　tossed　the　grass　aside。　‘I’m　sur