and his lips pursed。 He stared at me； considering。…
“No！No！ ” I shook my head frantically。
“Why not； Wanda？” Jeb asked。 “Don’t sound like a half…bad idea to me。”
I swallowed and took a deep breath so my voice wouldn’t turn hysterical。 “Jeb。 Listen to me carefully；
Jeb。 I amtired of being a parasite。 Can you understand that？ Do you think I want to go into another body
and have this start all over again？ Do I have to feel guilty forever for taking someone’s life away from
them？ Do I have to have someone else hate me？ I’m barely a soul anymore—I love you brutish humans
too much。 It’s wrong for me to be here； and Ihate feeling that。”
I took another breath and spoke through the tears that were falling now。 “And what if things change？
What if you put me in some…one else； steal another life； and it goes wrong？ What if that body pulls me
after some other love； back to the souls？ What if you can’t trust me anymore？ What if I betray you next
arms around me。 He dried my tears against his chest。
“It’s okay； honey。 You don’t have to be anyone else。 Nothing’s going to change。”
“Hold on； Wanda；” Jeb said； his shrewd eyes suddenly sharper。 “How does going to one of those other
planets help you？ You’ll still be a parasite； kid。”
Ian flinched around me at the harsh word。
And I flinched also； because Jeb was too insightful； as always。
They waited for my answer； all but Doc； who knew what the real answer was。 The one I wouldn’t give。
I tried to say only true things。 “It’s different on other planets； Jeb。 There isn’t any resistance。 And the
hosts themselves are different。 They aren’t as individualized as humans； their emotions are so much
milder。 It doesn’t feel like stealing a life。 Not like it feels here。 No one will hate me。 And I’d be too far
away to hurt you。 You’d be safer…”
The last part sounded too much like the lie it was； so I let my voice trail off。
Jeb stared at me through narrowed eyes； and I looked away。
I tried not to look at Doc； but I couldn’t help one brief glance； to make sure he understood。 His eyes
locked on mine； clearly miserable； and I knew that he did。
As I quickly lowered my gaze； I caught Jared staring at Doc。 Had he seen the silent munication？
Jeb sighed。 “This is… a pickle。” His face turned into a grimace as he concentrated on the dilemma。
“Jeb —” Ian and Jared said together。 They both stopped and scowled at each other。
This was all just a waste of time； and I had only hours。 Just a few more hours； I knew that for certain
now。
“Jeb；” I said softly； my voice barely audible over the spring’s gushing murmur； and everyone turned to
me。 “You don’t have to decide right now。 Doc needs to check on Jodi； and I’d like to see her； too。 Plus；
I haven’t eaten all day。 Why don’t you sleep on it？ We can talk again tomorrow。 We’ve got plenty of
time to think about this。”
Lies。 Could they tell？
I was very careful not to look at Doc now； even when I spoke to him。
“I’ll be along to help with Jodi after I eat； Doc。 See you later。”
“Okay；” Doc said warily。
Why couldn’t he keep his tone casual？ He was a human—he should have been a good liar。
“Hungry？” Ian murmured； and I nodded。 I let him help me up。 He latched on to my hand； and I knew he
would be keeping a tight hold on me now。 That didn’t worry me。 He slept deeply； like Jamie。
As we walked from the dark room； I could feel eyes on my back； but I wasn’t sure whose。
Just a few more things to do。 Three； to be precise。 Three last deeds to be pleted。
First； I ate。
It wouldn’t be nice to leave Mel with her body unfortable from hunger。 Besides； the food was better
since I’d been raiding。 Something to look forward to rather than endure。
I made Ian get the food and bring it to me while I hid in the field where half…grown sprouts of wheat
replaced the corn。 I told Ian the truth so that he would help me： I was avoiding Jamie。 I didn’t want Jamie
frightened by this decision。 It would be harder for him than for Jared or Ian—they each took one side。
Jamie loved us both； he would be more evenly torn。
Ian did not argue with me。 We ate in silence； his arm tight around my waist。
Second； I went to see Sunny and Jodi。
I expected to see three glowing cryotanks on top of Doc’s desk； and I was surprised that there were still
just the two Healers； set in the center。 Doc and Kyle hovered over the cot where Jodi lay inert。 I walked
quickly to them； about to demand to know where Sunny was； but when I got closer； I saw that Kyle had
an occupied cryotank cradled in one arm。
“You’ll want to be gentle with that；” I murmured。
Doc was touching Jodi’s wrist； counting to himself。 His lips pressed into a thin line when he heard my
voice； and he had to begin over again。
“Yeah； Doc told me that；” Kyle said； his gaze never leaving Jodi’s face。 A dark； matched set of bruises
was forming under his eyes。 Was his nose broken again？ “I’m being careful。 I just… didn’t want to leave
her alone over there。 She was so sad and so… sweet。”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate it； if she knew。”
He nodded； still staring at Jodi。 “Is there something I’m supposed to be doing here？ Is there some way
to help？”
“Mandy；” Doc corrected。 “She says it’s not exactly right； but it’s close。”
“Mandy；” I repeated。 Not that I would need to remember。 “Where is she？”
“With Trudy—that was a good call there。 Trudy’s exactly the right person。 I think she’s gotten her to
sleep。”
“That’s good。 Mandy will be okay。”
“I hope so。” Doc smiled； but it didn’t affect his gloomy expression much。 “I’ve got lots of questions for
her。”
I looked at the small woman—it was still impossible to believe that she was older than the body I wore。
Her face was slack and vacant。 It frightened me a little—she’d been so vibrantly alive when Sunny was
inside。 Would Mel… ？
I’m still here。
I know。 You’ll be fine。
Like Lacey。She winced； and so did I。
Never like Lacey。
I touched Jodi’s arm softly。 She was much like Lacey in some ways。 Olive skinned and black haired and
tiny。 They could almost be sisters； except that Jodi’s sweet； wan face could never look so repellent。
Kyle was tongue…tied； holding her hand。
“Like this； Kyle；” I said。 I brushed her arm again。 “Jodi？ Jodi； can you hear me？ Kyle’s waiting for you；
Jodi。 He got himself in a lot of trouble getting you here—everybody who knows him wants to beat him
senseless。” I grinned wryly at the big man； and his lips curled up at the corners； though he didn’t look up
to see my smile。
“Not that you’re surprised to hear that；” Ian said beside me。 “When hasn’t that been the case； eh； Jodi？
It’s good to see you again； sweetheart。 Though I wonder if you feel the same way。 Must have been a
nice break to get rid of this idiot for so long。”
Kyle hadn’t noticed his brother was there； attached like a vise to my hand； until Ian spoke。
“You remember Ian； of course。 Never has managed to catch up to me in anything； but he keeps trying。
Hey； Ian；” Kyle added； never moving his eyes； “you got anything you want to say to me？”
“Not really。”
“I’m waiting for an apology。”
“Keep waiting。”
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter； processtext/abclit。html
”
“Who needs an excuse； eh； Jodi？”
It was oddly pleasant； the banter between the brothers。 Jodi’s presence kept it light and teasing。 Gentle
and funny。 I would have woken up for this。 If I were her； I would have been smiling already。
“Keep it up； Kyle；” I murmured。 “That’s just right。 She’ll e around。”
I wished I would get to meet her； to see what she was like。 I could only picture Sunny’s expressions。
What would it be like for everyone here； meeting Melanie for the first time？ Would it seem the same to
them； as if there were no difference？ Would they really grasp that I was gone； or would Melanie simply
fill the role I had？
Maybe they would find her entirely different。 Maybe they would have to adjust to her all over again。
Maybe she would fit in the way I never had。 I pictured her； which was picturing me； the center of a
crowd of friendly faces。 Pictured us with Freedom in our arms and all the humans who had never trusted
me smiling with wele。
Why did that bring tears to my eyes？ Was I really so petty？
No；Mel assured me。And they’ll miss you—of course they will。 All the best people here will feel
your loss。
She seemed to finally accept my decision。
Not accept；she disagreed。I just can’t see any way to stop you。 And I can feel how close it is。 I’m
scared； too。 Isn’t that funny？ I’m absolutely terrified。
That makes two of us。
“Wanda？” Kyle said。
“Yes？”
“I’m sorry。”
“Um… why？”
“For trying to kill you；” he said casually。 “Guess Iwas wrong。”
Ian gasped。 “Please tell me you have some kind of recording device available； Doc。”
“Nope。 Sorry； Ian。”
Ian shook his head。 “This moment should be preserved。 I never thought I’d live to see the day that Kyle
O’Shea would admit to being wrong。 C’mon； Jodi。 That ought toshock you awake。”
“Jodi； baby； don’t you want to defend me？ Tell Ian I neverhave been wrong before。” He chuckled。
that much。
There was no more I could do here。 There was no point in lingering。 Jodi would either e back or she
would not； but neither oute would change my path now。
So I proceeded to my third and final deed： I lied。
I stepped away from the cot； took a deep breath； and stretched my arms。
“I’m tired； Ian；” I said。
Was it really a lie？ It didn’t sound so false。 It had been a long； long day； this； my last day。 I’d been up all
night； I realized。 I hadn’t slept since that last raid； I must have been exhausted。
Ian nodded。 “I’ll bet you are。 Did you stay up with the Heal—with Mandy all night？”
“Yeah。” I yawned。
“Have a nice night； Doc；” Ian said； pulling me toward the exit。 “Good luck； Kyle。 We’ll be back in the
morning。”
“Night； Kyle；” I murmured。 “See you； Doc。”
Doc glowered at me； but Ian’s back was to him； and Kyle was staring at Jodi。 I returned Doc’s glare
with a steady gaze。
Ian walked with me through the black tunnel； saying nothing。 I was glad he wasn’t in the mood for
conversation。 I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on it。 My stomach was twisting and turning；
wringing itself into strange contortions。
I was done； all my tasks acplished。 I only had to wait a bit now and not fall asleep。 Tired as I was； I
didn’t think that would be a problem。 My heart was pounding like a fist hitting my ribs from the inside。
No more stalling。 It had to be tonight； and Mel knew that； too。 What had happened today with Ian had
shown me that。 The longer I stayed； the more tears and arguments and fights I would cause。 The better
the chance that I or someone else would slip up and Jamie would find out the truth。 Let Mel explain it
after the fact。 It would be better that way。
Thanks so much；Mel thought； her words flowed fast； in a burst； her