provided and slowly work up the energy to call everyone back；
the night had just been too good to wreck by talking to my
mother about some petty concern or to Alex about “where we
stand。”
The bath was just as hot and luxurious as you’d expect it to
be in a junior suite adjacent to the Coco Chanel suite at the
Ritz Paris； and I took a few extra minutes to apply some of
the lightly scented moisturizer from the vanity to my entire
body。 Then； finally wrapped in the plushest terry…cloth robe
I’d ever pulled around me； I sat down to dial。 Without
thinking； I dialed my mother first； which was probably a
mistake： even her “hello” sounded seriously stressed out。
“Hey； it’s me。 Is everything OK？ I was going to call you guys
tomorrow； it’s just that things have been so hectic。 But； wait
until I tell you about the night I just had！” I knew already
that I’d be omitting any romantic references to Christian；
since I hadn’t felt like explaining the entire Alex scenario
to my parents； but I knew they’d both be thrilled to hear that
Miranda seemed to respond well when I’d brought up the idea
ofThe New Yorker 。
“Honey； I don’t mean to interrupt you； but something’s
happened。 We got a call today from Lenox Hill Hospital； which
is on Seventy…seventh Street； I think； and it seems that
Lily’s been in an accident。”
And although it’s quite conceivably the most clichéd
expression in the English language； my heart stopped for just
a moment。 “What？ What are you talking about？ What kind of an
accident？”
She had already switched into worried…mom mode and was clearly
trying to keep her voice steady and her words rational；
following what was sure to have been my dad’s suggestion of
passing along to me a feeling of calm and control。 “A car
accident； honey。 A rather serious one； I’m afraid。 Lily was
driving—there was also a guy in the car； someone from school；
I think they said—and she turned the wrong way down a one…way
street。 It seems she hit a taxicab head…on； going nearly forty
miles an hour on a city street。 The police officer I spoke
with said it was a miracle she’s alive。”
“I don’t understand。 When did it happen？ Is she going to be
OK？” I had started choke…crying at some point； because as calm
as my mother was trying to remain； I could hear the severity
of the situation in her carefully chosen words。 “Mom； where is
Lily now； and is she going to be OK？”
It wasn’t until this point that I noticed my mom was crying
also； just quietly。 “Andy； I’m putting Dad on。 He spoke to the
doctors most recently。 I love you； honey。” The last part came
out like a squeak。
“Hi； honey。 How are you？ Sorry we have to call with news like
this。” My dad’s voice sounded deep and reassuring； and I had a
fleeting feeling that everything was going to work out。 He was
going to tell me that she’d broken her leg； maybe a rib or
two； and someone had called in a good plastic surgeon to
stitch up a few scrapes on her face。 But she was going to be
just fine。
“Dad； will you please tell me what happened？ Mom said Lily was
driving and hit a cab going really fast？ I don’t understand。
None of this makes any sense。 Lily doesn’t have a car； and she
hates to drive。 She’d never be cruising around Manhattan。 How
did you hear about this？ Who called you？ And what’s wrong with
her？” Again； I’d worked myself up to nearly hysterical； but
again his voice was manding and soothing all in one。
“Take a deep breath—I’ll tell you everything I know。 The
accident happened yesterday； but we just found out about it
today。”
“Yesterday！ How could this have happened yesterday and no one
called me？ Yesterday？”
“Sweetie； they did call you。 The doctor said that Lily had
filled out the front information page in her daily planner and
had listed you as her emergency contact； since her
grandmother’s really not doing all that well。 Anyway； I guess
the hospital called you at Home and on your cell； but of
course you weren’t checking either one。 When no one called
them back or showed up in twenty…four hours； they went through
her planner and noticed that we have the same last name as
you； and so the hospital called here to see if we knew how to
reach you。 Mom and I couldn’t remember where you were staying；
so we called Alex for the name of the hotel。”
“Oh my god； it was a day ago。 Has she been alone this whole
time？ Is she still in the hospital？” I couldn’t ask the
questions fast enough； but I still felt like I wasn’t getting
any answers。 All I knew for sure was that Lily had decided on
me as the primary person in her life； the emergency contact
you always had to list but never； ever took seriously。 And
here she’d really needed me—didn’t have anyone else； in
fact—and I’d been nowhere to be found。 My choking had
subsided； but the tears continued to pour down my cheeks in
hot； angry streaks； and my throat felt as though it had been
scraped raw with a pumice stone。
“Yes； she’s still in the hospital。 I’m going to be very honest
with you； Andy。 We’re not sure if she’s going to be all
right。”
“What？ What are you saying？ Will someone just tell me
something concrete already？”
“Honey； I’ve spoken to her doctor a half…dozen times already；
and I have plete confidence that she’s getting the best
attention。 But Lily’s in a a； sweetie。 Now； the doctor did
reassure me that—”
“A a？ Lily is in a a？” Nothing was making sense anymore；
the words were refusing to take on meaning。
“Honey； try to calm down。 I know this is shocking for you and
I hate to do this over the phone。 We considered not telling
you until you got back； but since that’s still half a week
away； we figured you had a right to know。 But also know that
Mom and I are doing everything we can to make sure that Lily
gets the best help。 She’s always been like a daughter to us；
you know that； so she’s not going to be alone。”
“Oh my god； I have to e home。 Dad； I have to e Home！ She
doesn’t have anybody but me； and I’m across the Atlantic。 Oh；
but that fucking party is the night after tomorrow and it’s
the sole reason she brought me and she’ll definitely fire me
if I’m not there。 Think！ I need to think！”
“Andy； it’s late there。 I think the best thing you could do is
get some sleep； take a little time to think things over。 Of
course I knew you’d want to e Home right away； because
that’s the kind of person you are； but keep in mind that for
right now Lily is not conscious。 Her doctor assured me that
the chances are excellent that she’ll e out of this in the
next forty…eight to seventy…two hours； that her body is just
using this as an extended and deeper sleep to help itself
heal。 But nothing is certain；” he added； softly。
“And if she does e out of it？ I’m assuming she could have
all sorts of brain damage and horrible paralysis and things
like that？ Oh my god； I can’t stand it。”
“They just don’t know yet。 They said that she is responsive to
stimuli in her feet and legs； which is a good indication that
there’s no paralysis。 But there’s a lot of swelling around her
head； and it won’t be possible to know anything for sure until
she es out of this。 We just need to wait。”
We spoke for a few minutes longer before I hung up abruptly
and called Alex’s Cell Phone。
“Hi； it’s me。 Have you seen her？” I asked without so much as a
hello。 I was now a mini…Miranda。
“Andy。 Hi。 So you know？”
“Yeah； I just got off the phone with my parents。 Have you seen
her？”
“Yes； I’m at the hospital now。 They won’t let me in her room
right now since it’s not visiting hours and I’m not family；
but I wanted to be here just in case she wakes up。” He sounded
very； very far away； pletely lost in his own thoughts。
“What happened？ My mom said something about how she was
driving and hit a cab or something？ None of it makes any sense
to me。”
“Uch； it’s a nightmare；” he sighed； clearly unhappy that no
one else had told me the story yet。 “I’m not sure I know
exactly； but I did talk to the guy she was with when it
happened。 You remember Benjamin； that guy she was seeing in
college who she walked in on having a threesome with those
girls？”
“Of course； he works in my building now。 I see him sometimes。
What the hell was she doing with him？ Lily hates him—she’s
never gotten over that。”
“I know； that’s what I thought； too； but it seems they’ve been
hanging out lately and they were together last night。 He says
they had gotten tickets to see Phish at Nassau Coliseum and
drove out there together。 I guess Benjamin smoked too much and
decided he shouldn’t drive his car Home； so Lily volunteered。
They made it back to the city with no problems until Lily ran
a red light and then turned the wrong way down Madison；
straight into oning traffic。 They hit a cab head…on； on the
driver’s side； and； well； uh； you know。” He choked up at this
point； and I knew things must be worse than anyone had let on。
I’d done nothing but ask questions the last half hour—to my
mom； my dad； and now Alex—but I couldn’t bring myself to ask
the most obvious one： Why had Lily run a red light and then
tried to drive south on an avenue that only ran north？ But I
didn’t need to； because Alex； as always； knew exactly what I
was thinking。
“Andy； her blood alcohol level was nearly twice the legal
limit。” He stated this matter…of…factly； trying not to swallow
the words so I wouldn’t ask him to repeat them。
“Oh my god。”
“If—when—she wakes up； she’s going to have even more to deal
with than her health： she’s in a lot of trouble。 Luckily； the
cabbie was OK； just a few bumps and bruises； and Benjamin’s
left leg is pletely smashed up； but he’ll be fine； too。 We
just need to wait for Lily。 When are you ing Home？”
“What？” I was still trying to process the fact that Lily had
been “seeing” a guy I’d always thought she hated； that she’d
ended up in a a because she was so drunk when she was with
him。
“I said； when are you ing home？” When I was silent for a
moment； he continued。 “You are ing Home； aren’t you？ You’re
not seriously considering staying there while your best friend
on earth lies in a hospital bed； are you？”
“What are you suggesting； Alex？ Are you suggesting that this
is my fault because I didn’t see