charged the massage to the room even though I’d made it
through only the first ten minutes； and I ran upstairs to
figure out how to best maneuver around this newest obstacle。
This was getting old。 Quickly。
It took just a few minutes to page Miranda’s hair and makeup
people （who； incidentally； were different from my own—I was
pieced together by an angry…looking woman whose look of
despair on seeing me for the first time haunted me still；
while Miranda had a pair of gay guys who looked like they
stepped directly out of the pages ofMaxim ） and change her
appointment。
“No problem；” Julien squealed in a thick French accent。 “We
will be there； how you say？ Wearing bells！ We clear our
schedules this week just in the case that Madame Priestly need
us at different times！”
I paged Briget yet again and asked her to deal with the Ungaro
people。 Time to hit the wardrobe。 The sketchbook with all my
different “looks” was displayed prominently on the bedside
table； just waiting for a lost fashion victim like myself to
turn to it for spiritual guidance。 I flipped through the
headings and subheadings and tried to make sense of it all。
Shows：
1。 Daytime
2。 Evening
Meals：
1。 Breakfast meeting
2。 Lunch
A。 Casual （hotel or bistro）
B。 Formal （The Espadon in the Ritz）
3。 Dinner
A。 Casual （bistro； room service）
B。 Midrange （decent restaurant； casual dinner party）
C。 Formal （Le Grand Vefour restaurant； formal dinner
party）
Parties：
1。 Casual （champagne breakfasts； afternoon teas）
2。 Stylish （cocktail parties by nonmajor people； book parties；
“meet for drinks”）
3。 Dressy （cocktail parties by major people； anything at a
museum or gallery； postshow parties hosted by design team）
Miscellaneous：
1。 To and from the airport
2。 Athletic events （lessons； tournaments； etc。）
3。 Shopping excursions
4。 Running errands
A。 To couture salons
B。 To upscale shops and boutiques
C。 To the local food store and/or health and beauty aid
There didn’t appear to be any suggestions for what to wear
when one was unable to establish the major…ness or
non…major…ness of the hosts。 Clearly； there was the
opportunity to make a big mistake here： I could narrow the
event down to “Parties；” which was a good first step； but at
that point things got gray。 Was this party going to be a
simple number 2； where I’d just pull out something chic； or
was it really a 3； in which case I’d better pay attention to
choose something from the more elegant choices？ There were no
instructions for “gray area” or “uncertainty；” but someone had
helpfully included a last…minute handwritten note toward the
bottom of the table of contents：When in doubt （and you never
should be）； better to be underdressed in something fabulous
than overdressed in something fabulous。 Well； OK then； it
looked like I now squarely fit into category； party；
subcategory； stylish。 I turned to the six looks that Lucia had
sketched for that specific description and tried to figure out
what might look less ridiculous once it was actually on。
After a particularly embarrassing run…in with a
feather…covered tank top and patent…leather thigh…high （as in
yes； over the knee） boots； I finally selected the outfit on
page thirty…three； a flowy patchwork skirt by Roberto Cavalli
with a baby…T and a pair of biker…chick black boots by D&G。
Hot； sexy； stylish—but not too dressy—without actually making
me look like an ostrich； an eighties throwback； or a hooker。
What more could you ask for？ Just as I was attempting to
choose a workable bag； the hair and makeup woman showed up to
begin her frowning and disapproving attempts at making me not
look half as horrific as she clearly thought I did。
“Um； could you maybe lighten the stuff under my eyes just a
little？” I asked carefully； desperately trying not disparage
her handiwork。 It probably would’ve been better to have a go
at the makeup myself— especially since I had more supplies and
instructions than the NASA scientists missioned to build
the space shuttle—but the Makeup Gestapo showed up like
clockwork whether I liked it or not。
“No！” she barked； clearly not striving for the same
sensitivity as myself。 “It looks better this way。”
She finished painting on the thick black paint along my bottom
lashes and vanished as quickly as she’d arrived； I grabbed my
bag （alligator Gucci bowling bag） and headed to the lobby
fifteen minutes before our estimated time of departure so I
could double…check that the driver was ready。 Just as I was
debating with Renaud whether Miranda would prefer for us to
each take separate cars so she wouldn’t have to speak to me or
actually use the same one and risk catching something from
sharing a backseat with her assistant； she appeared。 She
looked me up and down very slowly； her expression remaining
pletely passive and indifferent。 I’d passed！ This was the
first time since I’d started working there that I hadn’t
received a look of all…out disgust or； at the very least； a
snarky ment； and all it had taken was a SWAT team of New
York fashion editors； a collection of Parisian hair and makeup
stylists； and a hefty selection of the world’s finest and most
expensive clothing。
“Is the car here； Ahn…dre…ah？” She looked stunning in a short；
shirred velvet cocktail dress。
“Yes； Ms。 Priestly； right this way；” Monsieur Renaud
interrupted smoothly； leading us past a group of what could
only be other American fashion editors also there for the
shows。 A deferential hush fell over the super…hip…looking
crowd ofüber …Clackers when we walked past； Miranda two steps
in front me； looking thin and striking and very； very unhappy。
I nearly had to run to keep up； even though she was six inches
shorter than me； and I waited until she gave me a “Well？ What
the hell are you waiting for？” look before I ducked into the
backseat of the limo after her。
Thankfully the driver appeared to know where he was going；
because I’d been paranoid for the past hour that she would
turn to me and ask me where the unknown cocktail party was
being held。 She did turn to me； but she said nothing； choosing
instead to chat with B…DAD on her Cell Phone； repeating over
and over that she expected him to arrive with plenty of time
to change and have a drink before the big party on Saturday
night。 He was flying over in his pany’s private jet； and
they were currently debating whether or not to bring Caroline
and Cassidy； since he wouldn’t be returning until Monday； she
didn’t want the girls to have to miss a day of school。 It
wasn’t until we’d actually pulled up in front of a duplex
apartment on Boulevard Saint Germain that I wondered what it
was exactly that I was supposed to do all night。 She’d always
been rather good about not abusing Emily or me or any of her
staff in public； which indicated—at least on some level—that
she knew she was doing it in the first place。 So if she
couldn’t really order me to fetch her drinks or find her
someone on the phone or have something dry…cleaned while we
were standing there； what was I to do？
“Ahn…dre…ah； this party is being hosted by a couple with whom
I was friendly when we lived in Paris。 They requested that I
bring along an assistant to entertain their son； who generally
finds these events rather dull。 I’m sure the two of you will
get along well。” She waited until the driver opened her door；
then she daintily stepped out in her perfect Jimmy Choo pumps。
Before I could open my own door； she had climbed the three
steps and was already handing her coat to the butler； who was
clearly awaiting her arrival。 I slumped back into the soft
leather seat for just a minute； trying to process this new gem
of information she’d so coolly relayed。 The hair； the makeup；
the rescheduling； the panicked consultation with the style
book； the biker…chick boots； were all so I could spend the
night babysitting some rich couple’s snot…nosed kid？ And
aFrench snot…nosed kid； no less。
I spent three full minutes reminding myself thatThe New Yorker
was now only a couple months away； that my year of servitude
was about to pay off； that I could surely make it through one
more night of tedium to get my dream job。 It didn’t help。 All
of a sudden； I desperately wanted to curl up on my parents’
couch and have my mom microwave me some tea while my dad set
up the Scrabble board。 Jill and even Kyle would be visiting；
too； with baby Isaac； who would coo and smile when he saw me
and Alex would call and tell me he loved me。 No one would care
that my sweatpants were stained or my toes were frightfully
unpedicured or that I was eating a big； fat chocolate éclair。
Not a single person would even know that there were fashion
shows going on somewhere across the Atlantic； and they sure as
hell wouldn’t be interested in hearing about them。 But all of
that seemed incredibly far away； a lifetime actually； and
right now I had to contend with a coterie of people who lived
and died on the runway。 That； and what was sure to be a
screaming； spoiled little boy speaking some French gibberish。
When I finally pulled my scantily…but…stylishly clad self from
the limo； the butler was no longer expecting anyone。 There was
music ing from a live band and the smell of scented candles
wafted outside from a window above the small garden。 I took a
deep breath and reached up to knock； but the door swung open。
It’s safe to say that never； ever； in my young life had I been
more surprised than I was that night： Christian was smiling
back at me。
“Andy； darling； so glad you could make it；” he said； leaning
in and kissing me full on the mouth—a bit intimate considering
my mouth had been hanging wide open in disbelief。
“What are you doing here？”
He grinned and pushed that ever…present curl off his forehead。
“Shouldn’t I be asking you the same thing？ Because you seem to
follow me everywhere I go； I’m going to have to assume you
want to sleep with me。”
I blushed and； always the lady； snorted loudly。 “Yeah；
something like that。 Actually； I’m not here as a guest； I’m
just a very well dressed babysitter。 Miranda asked me to e
along and didn’t tell me until the last second that I’m
supposed to be watching the hosts’ bratty son tonight。 So； if
you’ll excuse me； I be