parties involved knew that Alex and I were sleeping together；
nothing could be done； said； or implied to actually confirm it。 And
so I hadn’t wanted him there when my parents arrived。
“Hey； babe。 I thought you guys could use some help today。” He held
up a Bagelry bag that I knew would contain salt bagels； my favorite；
and some large coffees。 “Are your parents here yet？ I brought them
Coffees； too。”
“I thought you had to tutor today；” I said just as Shanti emerged
from her bedroom wearing a black pantsuit。 She hung her head as she
walked past us； mumbled something about working all day； and left。
We so seldom talked； I wondered if she realized today was my last
day in the apartment。
“I did； but I called the two little girls’ parents and both said
that tomorrow morning was fine with them； so I’m all yours！”
“Andy！ Alex！” My father stood in the doorway behind Alex； beaming as
though this were the best morning on earth。 My mom looked so awake I
wondered if she was on drugs。 I did a quick once…over of the
situation and figured that they would rightly assume that Alex had
just arrived since he was still wearing his shoes and was obviously
holding recently purchased food。 Besides； the door was still open。
Phew。
“Andy said you couldn’t make it today；” my dad said； setting down
what looked like a bag of bagels—also salt； no doubt—and Coffees on
the table in the living room。 He deliberately avoided eye contact。
“Are you on your way in or out？”
I smiled and looked at Alex； hoping he wasn’t already regretting
what he’d gotten himself into so early in the morning。
“Oh； I just got here； Dr。 Sachs；” Alex said gamely。 “I rearranged my
tutoring because I thought you two could use another pair of hands。”
“Great。 That’s great—I’m sure it’ll be a big help。 Here； help
yourself to bagels。 Alex； I’m sorry to say that we didn’t get three
Coffees since we didn’t know you’d be here。” My dad looked genuinely
upset； which was touching。 I knew he still had trouble with his
youngest daughter having a boyfriend； but he did his best not to
show it。
“No worries； Dr。 S。 I brought some stuff； too； so it looks like
there’s plenty。” And somehow； my dad and my boyfriend sat down on
the futon together—without a trace of awkwardness—and shared an
early…morning breakfast。
I sampled salt bagels from each of their bags and thought about how
much fun it would be to live with Lily again。 We’d been out of
college for nearly a year now。 We’d tried to talk at least once a
day； but it still felt like we hardly ever saw each other。 Now； we
would e Home to each other and bitch about our respective hellish
days—just like old times。 Alex and my dad prattled on about sports
（basketball； I think） while my mom and I labeled the boxes in my
room。 Sadly； there wasn’t much： just a few boxes of bed linens and
pillows； another of photo albums and assorted desk supplies （even
though I lacked a desk）； some makeup and toiletries； and a whole
bunch of garment bags filled with un…Runway…esque clothes。 Hardly
enough to warrant labels； I guess it was the assistant in me kicking
in。
“Let’s get moving；” my dad called from the living room。
“Shhh！ You’ll wake Kendra；” I loudly whispered back。 “It is only
nine in the morning on a Saturday； you know。”
Alex was shaking his head。 “Didn’t you see her leave with Shanti
before？ At least； I think that was her。 There were definitely two of
them； and they were both wearing suits and looking unhappy。 Check
their bedroom。”
The door to the room they managed to share by bunking their beds was
ajar； and I pushed it open slightly。 Both beds were made
meticulously； pillows fluffed and matching stuffed Gund dogs propped
up on each。 I didn’t realize until then that I’d never so much as
stepped foot in their room—in the few months I’d lived with these
girls； we hadn’t had a conversation of longer than thirty seconds—I
didn’t know exactly what they did； where they went； or if they had
any friends besides each other。 I was glad to be leaving。
Alex and my dad had cleaned up the leftover food and were trying to
map out a game plan。 “You’re right； they’re both gone。 I don’t even
think they know I’m leaving today。”
“Maybe leave them a note？” my mom suggested。 “Maybe on your Scrabble
board。” I’d inherited my father’s addiction to Scrabble； and he had
a theory that each new Home required a new board so I was leaving
the old one behind。
I took the last five minutes in the apartment to make the tiles
read； “Thanks for everything and good luck XO Andy。” Fifty…nine
points。 Not bad。
It took an hour to pack both of the cars up； with me not doing much
more than propping open the door to the street and guarding the
vehicles while they went back upstairs。 The bed movers—who were
charging more than the actual cost of the damn thing—were running
late； so my dad and Alex each started downtown。 Lily had found our
new apartment through an ad in theVillage Voice； and I hadn’t even
seen it yet。 She’d called me at work from her Cell Phone in the
middle of the day； screaming； “I found it！ I found it！ It’s perfect！
There’s a bathroom with running water； a wooden floor that only has
minimal warping； and I’ve been here four full minutes and haven’t
seen a single mouse or even a roach。 Can you e see it
immediately？”
“Are you high right now？” I whispered。 “She’shere； which means I’m
not going anywhere。”
“You have to enow 。 You know what it’s like。 I have my folder and
everything。”
“Lily； be reasonable。 I couldn’t leave the office right now for an
emergency heart transplant if I needed one； without getting fired。
How can I e look at an apartment？”
“Well； it’s not going to be here in thirty more seconds。 There are
at least twenty…five other people at this open house； and they’re
all filling out applications。 I need to do thisnow 。”
In the obscene world of Manhattan real estate； semilivable
apartments were rarer—and more desirable—than seminormal straight
guys。 When you added semiaffordable into the mix； they became harder
to rent than your private island somewhere off the southern coast of
Africa。 Or probably harder。 No matter that most boasted fewer than
three hundred square feet of dirt and rotted wood； pockmarked walls；
and prehistoric appliances。 No roaches？ No mice？ This one was a
keeper！
“Lily； I trust you； just do it。 Can you e…mail me a description？” I
was trying to get off the phone as quickly as possible since Miranda
was due back from the art department any second。 If she saw me on a
personal call； I was finished。
“Well； I have copies of your paychecks—which； by the way； really
suck 。 。 。 and I’ve got both our bank statements and printouts of
our credit histories and your employment letter。 The only problem is
our guarantor。 It has to be a tristate resident who makes more than
forty times our monthly rent； and my grandmother sure as hell
doesn’t make a hundred grand。 Can your parents sign for us？”
“Jesus； Lil； I don’t know。 I haven’t asked them； and I can’t very
well call them right now。 You call。”
“Fine。 They do make enough； don’t they？”
I wasn’t really sure； but who else could we ask？ “Just call them；” I
told her。 “Explain about Miranda。 Tell them I’m sorry for not
calling myself。”
“Will do；” she said。 “But let me make sure we can get the place。
I’ll call you back；” she said and clicked off the phone。 The phone
rang again twenty seconds later； and I saw her Cell Phone number on
the office phone caller ID。 Emily raised her eyes in that special
way she did when she heard me once again talking to a friend。 I
grabbed the phone but spoke to Emily。
“It’s important；” I hissed in her direction。 “My best friend is
trying to rent me an apartment over the phone because I can’t leave
here for a goddamn—”
Three voices attacked me at once。 Emily’s was measured and calm and
carried with it a warning tone。 “Andrea； please；” she’d started； at
the exact same time that Lily was shrieking； “They’ll do it； Andy；
they’ll do it！ Are you listening to me？” But even though both of
them were clearly addressing me； I couldn’t really hear either one
of them。 The only voice that came through loud and clear was
Miranda’s。
“Do we have a problem here； Ahn…dre…ah？” Shocker—she got my name
right this time。 She was hovering over me； appearing ready to
strike。
I immediately hung up on Lily； hoping she’d understand； and braced
myself for the onslaught。 “No； Miranda； no problem at all。”
“Good。 Now； I’d like a sundae and I’d like to actually eat it before
the entire thing melts。 Vanilla ice cream—not yogurt； mind you； not
ice milk； and nothing sugar…free or low…fat—with chocolate syrup and
real whipped cream。 Not canned； you understand？ Genuine whipped
cream。 That’s all。” She walked purposefully back toward the art
department； and I was left with the distinct impression that she’d
e in just to check on me。 Emily smirked。 The phone rang。 Lily
again。 Dammit—couldn’t she just e…mail me？ I picked it up and
pressed it to my ear but said nothing。
“OK； I know you can’t talk； so I will。 Your parents will be our
guarantors； which is great。 The apartment is a big one…bedroom； and
once we put the wall up in the living room； there will still be room
for a two…person couchand a chair。 The bathroom doesn’t have a bath；
but the shower looks OK。 No dishwasher； natch； and no AC； but we can
get window units。 Laundry in the basement； part…time doorman； one
block from the six train。 And get this。 A balcony！”
I must’ve breathed audibly； because she got even more excited at my
excitement。 “I know！ Crazy； right？ It looks like it might fall right
off the side of the building； but it’s there！ And we could both fit
on it and have a place to smoke； and oh； it’s just perfect！”
“How much？” I croaked； determined that these would be the absolute
last words I’d utter。
“All ours for the grand total of twenty…two eighty a month。 Do you
believe that we’ll get a balcony for eleven hundred forty dollars
apiece？ This place is the find of the century。 So； can I do it？”
I was silent。 I wanted to talk； but Miranda was inching her way back
to her office as she upbraided the public events coordinator in
front of everyone。 She was in a wicked mood； and I’d already