《时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版》

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时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版- 第33部分


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  “Is this Emily? Emily; is that you; I can barely hear you!” 
  Miranda’s voice came over the line in a shrill; angry staccato。

  “Hello; Miranda。 Yes; this is Andrea。” I stated calmly while 
  Sebastian visibly swooned at the sound of her name。

  “Are you preparing my lunch yourself; Andrea? Because according to 
  my clock; I asked for it thirty…five minutes ago。 I cannot think of 
  a single reason why—if you were doing your job properly—my lunch 
  would not be at my desk yet。 Can you?”

  She got my name right! A small success; but no time to celebrate。

  “Uh; um; well; I’m very sorry it’s taken so long; but there was a 
  little mix…up with—”

  “You do know just how uninterested I am in such details; do you 
  not?”

  “Yes; of course I understand; and it won’t be long before—”

  “I am calling to tell you that I want my lunch; and I want itnow 。 
  There’s really not much room for nuance; Emily。 I。 Want。 My。 Lunch。 
  Now!” With that; she hung up the phone; and my hands were shaking so 
  badly I dropped my cell on the floor。 It might as well have been 
  covered in burning arsenic。

  Sebastian; who looked ready to pass out from the action; swooped 
  down to retrieve the phone and hand it back to me。

  “Is she upset with us; Andrea? I hope she doesn’t think we let her 
  down! Does she? Does she think that?” His mouth pursed into a tight 
  oval and the already prominent veins in his forehead pulsed; and I 
  wanted to hate him as much as I hated her; but I just felt sorry for 
  him。 Why did this man; this man who seemed remarkable only to the 
  extent that he was so unremarkable; why did he care so much about 
  Miranda Priestly? Why was he so invested in pleasing her; impressing 
  her; providing for her? Perhaps he should take over my job; I 
  thought; because I was going to quit。 Yes; that was it。 I was going 
  to march back to that office and quit。 Who needed her shit? What 
  gave her the right to talk to me; to anyone; like that? The 
  position? The power? The prestige? The goddamn Prada? Where; in a 
  just universe; was this acceptable behavior?

  The receipt I was supposed to sign every day charging the 
  ninety…five…dollar meal to Elias…Clark was resting on the podium; 
  and I quickly scrawled an illegible signature。 Whether it was mine 
  or Miranda’s or Emily’s or Mahatma Gandhi’s at this point I couldn’t 
  even be sure; but it wouldn’t matter。 I grabbed the bag of food that 
  redefined the term “lunch meat” and stomped back outside; leaving a 
  very fragile Sebastian to deal with himself。 I threw myself in a cab 
  the moment I hit the street; nearly knocking an elderly man off his 
  feet。 No time to be concerned。 I had a job to quit。 Even with the 
  midday traffic; we covered the few blocks in ten minutes; and I 
  threw the cabbie a twenty。 I would’ve given him fifty if I’d had it 
  and figured out a way to recoup it from Elias; but there were none 
  in my wallet。 He immediately began counting out change; but I 
  slammed the door and ran。 Let that twenty go to caring for a little 
  girl somewhere or fixing a hot water heater; I decided。 Or even for 
  a few postshift beers at the cab park in Queens—whatever the cabbie 
  did with it would somehow be nobler than buying yet another cup of 
  Starbucks。

  Full of self…righteous indignation; I stormed inside the building 
  and ignored the disapproving stares from the small group of Clackers 
  in the corner。 I saw Benji stepping off the Bergman elevators but 
  quickly turned my back so I didn’t waste any more time; swiped my 
  card; and threw my hip against the turnstile。 Shit! The metal bar 
  smacked against my pelvic bone and I knew I’d have a splotchy purple 
  bruise within minutes。 I looked up to see two rows of glimmering 
  white teeth and the fat; sweating face that formed around them。 
  Eduardo。 He had to be kidding。 He just had to be。

  I quickly flashed him my best nasty look; the one that said; quite 
  simply;Just die! but it didn’t work today。 Maintaining full eye 
  contact; I swiveled around to the next turnstile in the line; swiped 
  my card lightning…fast; and lunged against the bar。 He’d managed to 
  lock it just in time; and I stood there as he let the Clackers go 
  through the first turnstile I’d tried; one by one。 Six in all; and I 
  still stood there; so frustrated I thought I might cry。 Eduardo was 
  not sympathetic。

  “Girlfriend; don’t look so down。 This ain’t torture; it’s fun。 Now; 
  please。 Pay attention; because 。 。 。I think we’re alone now。 There 
  doesn’t seem to be anyone a…rou…ound。 I think we’re alone now。 The 
  beatin’ of our hearts is the only sou…ound 。”

  “Eduardo! How on earth am I supposed to act out that one? I don’t 
  have time for this shit right now!”

  “OK; OK。 No actin’ this time; just singin’。 I’ll start; you 
  finish。Children behave! That’s what they say when we’re together。 
  And watch how you play! They don’t understand; and so we’re 。 。 。 ”

  I figured I wouldn’t have to quit if I ever actually made it 
  upstairs because I’d be fired by then anyway。 Might as well make 
  someone else’s day。“Running just as fast as we can;” I continued; 
  not missing a beat。“Holdin’ on to one another’s hand。 Tryin’ to get 
  away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we 
  tumble to the ground and then you say 。 。 。”

  I leaned in closer when I noticed that the jerk from day one; 
  Mickey; was trying to listen; and Eduardo finished it off:“I think 
  we’re alone now。 There doesn’t seem to be anyone a…rou…ound。 I think 
  we’re alone now。 The beatin’ of our hearts is the only sou…ound!” He 
  guffawed and threw his hand in the air。 I slapped him high five; and 
  I heard the metal bar click open。

  “Have a good lunch; Andy!” he called; still grinning。

  “You; too; Eduardo; you; too。”

  The elevator ride was blissfully uneventful; and it wasn’t until I 
  was standing directly outside the doors of our office suite that I 
  decided I couldn’t quit。 Aside from the obvious—that is; it’d be too 
  terrifying to do it unprepared; she’d probably just look at me and 
  say; “No; I won’t allow you to quit” and then what would I say?—I 
  had to remember that it was only a year of my life。 A single year to 
  bypass many more of misery。 One year; 12 months; 52 weeks; 365 days; 
  of putting up with this garbage to do what I really wanted。 It 
  wasn’t too great a demand; and besides; I was too tired to even 
  think about looking for another job。 Way too tired。

  Emily looked up at me when I walked in。 “She’ll be right back。 She 
  just got called up to Mr。 Ravitz’s office。 Seriously; Andrea; what 
  took you so long? You know that she es down on me when you’re 
  late; and what can I tell her? That you’re smoking cigarettes 
  instead of buying her Coffee; or talking to your boyfriend instead 
  of getting her lunch? It’s not fair—it’s really not。” She turned her 
  attention back to her puter; a resigned expression on her face。

  She was right; of course。 It wasn’t fair。 To me; to her; to any 
  semicivilized human being。 And I felt bad for making it more 
  difficult for her; which I did every time I took a few extra minutes 
  away from the office to relax and unwind。 Because every second I was 
  gone was another second that Miranda focused her relentless 
  attention on Emily。 I vowed to try harder。

  “You’re totally right; Em; and I’m sorry。 I’ll try harder。”

  She looked genuinely surprised and a little bit pleased。 “I’d really 
  appreciate it; Andrea。 I mean; I’ve done your job。 Iknow how much it 
  sucks。 Trust me; there were days that I had to go out in the snow 
  and the slush and the rain to get her Coffee five; six; seven times 
  in a single day。 I was so tired I could barely move—I know what it’s 
  like! Sometimes she’d call me to ask where something was—her latte; 
  her lunch; some special; sensitive…teeth toothpaste I’d been sent to 
  find—it was forting to discover that at least her teeth had a bit 
  of sensitivity—and I hadn’t even left the building yet。 Hadn’t even 
  gotten outside! That’s just her; Andy。 That’s just how it is。 You 
  can’t fight it anymore; or you’ll never survive。 She doesn’t mean 
  any harm by it; she really doesn’t。 That’s just the way she is。”

  I nodded and I understood; but I just couldn’t accept that。 I hadn’t 
  worked anywhere else; but I just couldn’t believe that all bosses 
  everywhere acted like this。 But maybe they did?

  I carried the lunch bag over to my desk and began the preparations 
  for serving her。 One by one; I used my bare hands to pluck the food 
  from its heat…sealed to…go containers and arrange it (stylishly; I 
  hoped) on one of the china plates from the overhead bin。 Slowing 
  only to wipe my now greasy hands on a pair of her dirty Versace 
  pants I hadn’t yet sent to the cleaners; I placed the plate on the 
  teak and tile serving tray that resided under my desk。 Next to it 
  went the gravy boat full of butter; the salt; and the silverware 
  wrapped in a linen…pleated skirt…no…longer。 A quick survey of my 
  artistry revealed a missing Pellegrino。 Better hurry—she’d be back 
  any minute! I dashed to one of the minikitchens and palmed a fistful 
  of ice cubes; blowing on them to keep them from freezer…burning my 
  hands。 Blowing was only one itsy; bitsy; teensy step from licking 
  them—do I do it? No! Be above it; rise above it。 Do not spit in her 
  food or gum her ice cubes。 You’re a bigger person than that!

  Her office was still empty by the time I made it back; and the only 
  thing left to do was pour the bottled water and place the whole 
  orchestrated tray on her desk。 She’d e back and perch at her 
  mammoth desk and call out for someone to close her doors。 And this 
  would be one time I’d jump up happily; enthusiastically; because it 
  meant not only that she’d sit quietly behind those closed doors for 
  a good half hour; on the phone with B…DAD; but also that it was time 
  for us to eat as well。 One of us could race down to the dining room 
  and grab the very first thing she saw and race back so the other 
  could go。 We would try to hide our food under our desks and behind 
  our puter screens just in case she came out unexpectedly。 If 
  there was a single unspoken but still irrefutable rule; it was that 
  members of theRunway staff do not eat in front of Miranda Priestly。 
  Period。

  My watch said it was quarter after two。 My stomach said it was late 
  evening。 It had been seven hours since I’d shoved a chocolate scone 
  down my throat on the walk back to the office from Starbucks; and I 
  was so hungry I considered g
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