it was a ten…point scale； with face always being the first numerical
ranking； body the second； and personality ing in last with a
slightly more generalized letter grade。 Since there were clearly
more factors at work in judging guys； Lily devised the Fractional
Scale； which had a total of ten pieces that each earned a point。 The
Perfect Guy would obviously have all five of the primary pieces：
intelligence； sense of humor； decent body； cute face； and any sort
of job that fell under the generous umbrella of “normal。” Since it
was next to impossible to find The Perfect Guy； someone could up
their fraction by earning points on the secondary five； which
included a definitive lack of psycho ex…girlfriends； psycho parents；
or date…rapist roommates； and any sort of extracurricular interests
or hobbies that weren’t sports… or porn…related。 So far； the highest
anyone had received was a nine…tenths； but he had broken up with
her。
“Well； at first he was going strong at seven…tenths。 He was a
theater major at Yaleand he’s straight； and he could discuss Israeli
politics so intelligently that he never once suggested that we ‘just
nuke ’em；’ so that was good。”
“Sure sounds good。 I can’t wait for the clincher。 What was it？ Did
he talk about his favorite Nintendo game？”
“Worse。” She sighed。
“Is he thinner than you？”
“Worse。” She sounded defeated。
“What on earth could be worse than that？”
“He lives on Long Island—”
“Lily！ So he’s geographically undesirable。 That doesn’t make him
undateable！ You know better than to—”
“With his parents；” she interrupted。
Oh。
“For the past four years。”
Oh； my。
“And he absolutely loves it。 Says he can’t imagine wanting to live
alone in such a big city when his mom and dad are such great
pany。”
“Whoa！ Say no more。 I don’t think we’ve ever had a seven…tenths fall
all the way to a zero after the first date。 Your guy set a new
record。 Congratulations。 Your day was officially worse than mine。” I
leaned over to kick my bedroom door closed when I heard Shanti and
Kendra e Home from work。 I heard a guy’s voice with them and
wondered if either of my roommates had boyfriends。 I’d seen them a
bined total of only ten minutes in the last week and a half；
because they seemed to work longer hours than I did。
“That bad？ How could your day be bad？ You work infashion； ” she
said。
There was a quiet knocking on the door。
“Hold on a sec； someone’s here。 e in！” I called to the door； much
too loud for the tiny space。 I waited for one of my quiet roommates
to timidly ask if I’d remembered to call the landlord to put my name
on the lease （no） or bought more paper plates （no） or had taken down
any phone messages （no）； but Alex appeared。
“Hey； can I call you back？ Alex just showed up。” I was thrilled to
see him； so excited that he’d surprised me； but a small part of me
had been looking forward to just taking a shower and crawling into
bed。
“Sure。 Tell him I say hi。 And remember what a lucky girl you are for
having pleted the fraction with him； Andy。 He’s great。 Hold on to
that one。”
“Don’t I know it。 The kid’s a goddamn saint。” I smiled in his
direction。
“’Bye。”
“Hi！” I willed myself to first sit up； then stand up and walk over
to him。 “What a great surprise！” I went to hug him but he backed
away； keeping his arms behind his back。 “What’s wrong？”
“Nothing at all。 I know you’ve had such a long week； and； knowing
you； I figured you hadn’t bothered to eat yet； so I brought the food
to you。” He pulled a huge brown paper bag from behind his back； one
of the old…school grocery style ones； and it already had some
delicious…smelling grease stains on it。 All of a sudden； I was
starving。
“You did not！ How’d you know that I was sitting here this very
second； wondering how I was going to motivate to find food？ I was
just about to give up。”
“So e here and eat！” He looked pleased and pulled open the bag；
but we both couldn’t fit on the floor of my bedroom together。 I
thought about eating in the living room since there was no kitchen；
but Kendra and Shanti had both collapsed in front of the TV
together； their untouched takeout salads open in front of them。 I
thought they were waiting until theReal World episode they were
watching was over； but then I noticed that they’d both already
fallen asleep。 Sweet lives we all had。
“Hold on； I have an idea；” he said and tiptoed to the kitchen。 He
came back with two oversize garbage bags and spread them out over my
blue forter。 He dug into the greasy bag and brought out two giant
burgers with everything and one extra…large order of fries。 He’d
remembered ketchup packets and tons of salt for me； and even the
napkins。 I clapped I was so excited； although a quick visual of the
imagined disappointment on Miranda’s face appeared； one that
said；You？ You’re eating a burger？
“I’m not done yet。 Here； check it out。” And out of his backpack came
a fistful of tiny vanilla tea lights； a bottle of screw…top red
wine； and two waxy paper cups。
“You’re kidding；” I said softly； still not believing that he’d put
all this together after I’d canceled our date。
He handed me a cup of wine and tapped it with his。 “No； I’m not。 You
think I was going to miss hearing about the first week of the rest
of your life？ To my best girl。”
“Thank you。” I said； slowly taking a sip。 “Thank you； thank you；
thank you。”
6
“Ohmigod； is it the fashion editor herself？” Jill mock…shrieked when
she opened the front door。 “e on over here and let your big
sister genuflect a li’l。”
“Fashion editor？” I snorted。 “Hardly。 Try fashion mishap。 Wele
back to civilization。” I hugged her for what felt like ten minutes
and didn’t want to let go。 It was hard when she’d started at
Stanford and left me all alone with our parents when I was a mere
nine years old； but it was even harder when she’d followed her
boyfriend—now husband—to Houston。 Houston！ The whole placed seemed
drenched in humidity and infested with mosquitoes to the point of
unbearability； and if that wasn’t bad enough； my sister—my
sophisticated； beautiful big sister who loved neoclassical art and
made your heart melt when she recited poetry—had developed a
southern accent。 And not just a slight accent with a subtle；
charming southern lilt； but an all…out； unmistakable；
like…a…drill…through…the…eardrum redneck drawl。 I’d yet to forgive
Kyle for dragging her to that wretched place； even if he was a
pretty decent brother…in…law； and it didn’t help when he opened his
mouth。
“Hey there； Andy darlin’； you’re looking more beautiful every time I
see you。”Yer lookin’ more beeyootiful avery time I see ya 。 “What
are they feeding y’all atRunway； huh？”
I wanted to stick a tennis ball in his mouth to keep him from
talking anymore； but he smiled at me and I walked over and hugged
him。 He might sound like a hick and grin a little too openly and
often； but he tried really hard and he clearly adored my sister。 I
vowed to make a sincere effort not to visibly cringe when he spoke。
“It’s not really what I’d call a feeding…friendly kind of place； if
you know what I mean。 Whatever it is； it’s definitely in the water
and not the food。 But never mind。 Kyle； you look great yourself。
Keeping my sister busy in the city of misery； I hope？”
“Andy； just e and visit； sweetie。 Bring Alex along and y’all can
make it a li’l vacation。 It’s not that bad； you’ll see。” He smiled
first at me and then at Jill； who smiled back and brushed the back
of her hand across his cheek。 They were disgustingly in love。
“Really； Andy； it’s a culture…rich place with a whole lot to do。 We
both wish you’d e visit us more often。 It’s just not right that
the only time we see each other is in this house；” she said； waving
expansively around our parents’ living room。 “I mean； if you can
stand Avon； you can certainly stand Houston。”
“Andy； you’re here！ Jay； the big New York City career girl is here；
e say hi；” my mom called as she rounded the corner ing from
the kitchen。 “I thought you were going to call when you got to the
train station。”
“Mrs。 Myers was picking Erika up from the same train； so she just
dropped me off。 When are we eating？ I’m starving。”
“Now。 Do you want to clean up？ We can wait。 You look a little ragged
from the train。 You know； it’s fine if—”
“Mother！” I shot her a warning look。
“Andy！ You look dynamite。 e here and give your old man a hug。” My
dad； tall and still very handsome in his midfifties； smiled from the
hallway。 He was holding a Scrabble box behind his back that he only
let me see by flashing it quickly by the side of his leg。 He waited
until everyone looked away from him and pointed to the box and
mouthed； “I’ll kick your ass。 Consider yourself warned。”
I smiled and nodded my head。 Contrary to all mon sense； I found
myself looking forward to the next forty…eight hours with my family
more than I had in the four years since I’d left Home。 Thanksgiving
was my favorite holiday； and this year I was set to enjoy it more
than ever。
We gathered in the dining room and dug into the massive meal that my
mother had expertly ordered； her traditional Jewish version of a
night…before…Thanksgiving feast。 Bagels and lox and cream cheese and
whitefish and latkes all professionally arranged on rigid disposable
serving platters； waiting to be transferred to paper plates and
consumed with plastic forks and knives。 My mother smiled lovingly as
her brood dug in； with a look of pride on her face as if she’d been
cooking for a week to sustain and nurture her babies。
I told them all about the new job； tried as best as I could to
describe a job that I didn’t yet fully understand myself。 Briefly I
wondered if it sounded ridiculous to tell them how the skirts were
called in and all the hours I’d logged wrapping and sending
presents； and how there was a little electronic ID card that tracked
everything you did。 It was hard to fit into words the sense of
urgency each of these had taken on at the time； how when I was at
work it seemed that my job was supremely relevant； even important。 I
talked and talked； but I didn’t know how to explain this world that
may have been only two hours away geographically but was really in a
different sol