l is； Afghanistan s national passion。 A _chapandaz_； a highly skilled horseman usually patronized by rich aficionados； has to snatch a goat or cattle carcass from the midst of a melee； carry that carcass with him around the stadium at full gallop； and drop it in a scoring circle while a team of other _chapandaz_ chases him and does everything in its power……kick； claw； whip； punch……to snatch the carcass from him。 That day； the crowd roared with excitement as the horsemen on the field bellowed their battle cries and jostled for the carcass in a cloud of dust。 The earth trembled with the clatter of hooves。 We watched from the upper bleachers as riders pounded past us at full gallop； yipping and yelling； foam flying from their horses mouths。
At one point Baba pointed to someone。 Amir； do you see that man sitting up there with those other men around him？
I did。
That s Henry Kissinger。
Oh； I said。 I didn t know who Henry Kissinger was； and I might have asked。 But at the moment； I watched with horror as one of the _chapandaz_ fell off his saddle and was trampled under a score of hooves。 His body was tossed and hurled in the stampede like a rag doll； finally rolling to a stop when the melee moved on。 He twitched once and lay motionless； his legs bent at unnatural angles； a pool of his blood soaking through the sand。
I began to cry。
I cried all the way back home。 I remember how Baba s hands clenched around the steering wheel。 Clenched and unclenched。 Mostly； I will never forget Baba s
valiant efforts to conceal the disgusted look on his face as he drove in silence。
Later that night； I was passing by my father s study when I overheard him speaking to Rahim Khan。 I pressed my ear to the closed door。
……grateful that he s healthy； Rahim Khan was saying。
I know； I know。 But he s always buried in those books or shuffling around the house like he s lost in some dream。
And？
I wasn t like that。 Baba sounded frustrated； almost angry。
Rahim Khan laughed。 Children aren t coloring books。 You don t get to fill them with your favorite colors。
I m telling you； Baba said； I wasn t like that at all； and neither were any of the kids I grew up with。
You know； sometimes you are the most self…centered man I know； Rahim Khan said。 He was the only person I knew who could get away with saying something like that to Baba。
It has nothing to do with that。
Nay？
Nay。
Then what？
I heard the leather of Baba s seat creaking as he shifted on it。 I closed my eyes； pressed my ear even harder against the door； wanting to hear； not wanting to hear。 Sometimes I look out this window and I see him playing on the street with the neighborhood boys。 I see how they push him around； take his toys from him； give him a shove here； a whack there。 And； you know； he never fights back。 Never。 He just。。。 drops his head and。。。
So he s not violent； Rahim Khan said。
That s not what I mean； Rahim； and you know it； Baba shot back。 There is something missing in that boy。
Yes； a mean streak。
Self…defense has nothing to do with meanness。 You know what always happens when the neighborhood boys tease him？ Hassan steps in and fends them off。 I ve seen it with my own eyes。 And when they e home； I say to him； How did Hassan get that scrape on his face？ And he says； He fell down。 I m telling you； Rahim； there is something missing in that boy。
You just need to let him find his way； Rahim Khan said。
And where is he headed？ Baba said。 A boy who won t stand up for himself bees a man who can t stand up to anything。
As usual you re oversimplifying。
I don t think so。
You re angry because you re afraid he ll never take over the business for you。
Now who s oversimplifying？ Baba said。 Look； I know there s a fondness between you and him and I m happy about that。 Envious； but happy。 I mean that。 He needs someone who。。。understands him； because God knows I don t。 But something about Amir troubles me in a way that I can t express。 It s like。。。 I could see him searching； reaching for the right words。 He lowered his voice； but I heard him anyway。 If I hadn t seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes； I d never believe he s my son。
THE NEXT MORNING； as he was preparing my breakfast； Hassan asked if something was bothering me。 I snapped at him； told him to mind his own business。
Rahim Khan had been wrong about the mean streak thing。
FOUR
In 1933； the year Baba was born and the year Zahir Shah began his forty…year reign of Afghanistan； two brothers； young men from a wealthy and reputable family in Kabul； got behind the wheel of their father s Ford roadster。 High on hashish and _mast_ on French wine； they struck and killed a Hazara husband and wife on the road to Paghman。 The police brought the somewhat contrite young men and the dead couple s five…year…old orphan boy before my grandfather； who was a highly regarded judge and a man of impeccable reputation。 After hearing the brothers account and their father s plea for mercy； my grandfather ordered the two young men to go to Kandahar at once and enlist in the army for one year……this despite the fact that their family had somehow managed to obtain them exemptions from the draft。 Their father argued； but not too vehemently； and in the end； everyone agreed that the punishment had been perhaps harsh but fair。 As for the orphan； my grandfather adopted him into his own household； and told the other servants to tutor him； but to be kind to him。 That boy was Ali。
Ali and Baba grew up together as childhood playmates……at least until polio crippled Ali s leg……just like Hassan and I grew up a generation later。 Baba was