re with a pencil。 I bit into my egg and asked Baba if it was true what a boy in school had told me； that if you ate a piece of eggshell； you d have to pee it out。 Baba grunted again。
I took a bite of my sandwich。 One of the yellow…haired tourists laughed and slapped the other one on the back。 In the distance； across the lake； a truck lumbered around a corner on the hill。 Sunlight twinkled in its side…view mirror。
I think I have _saratan_； I said。 Cancer。 Baba lifted his head from the pages flapping in the breeze。 Told me I could get the soda myself； all I had to do was look in the trunk of the car。
Outside the orphanage； the next day； they ran out of chairs。 A lot of people had to stand to watch the opening ceremony。 It was a windy day； and I sat behind Baba on the little podium just outside the main entrance of the new building。 Baba was wearing a green suit and a caracul hat。 Midway through the speech； the wind knocked his hat off and everyone laughed。 He motioned to me to hold his hat for him and I was glad to； because then everyone would see that he was my father； my Baba。 He turned back to the microphone and said he hoped the building was sturdier than his hat； and everyone laughed again。 When Baba ended his speech； people stood up and cheered。 They clapped for a long time。 Afterward； people shook his hand。 Some of them tousled my hair and shook my hand too。 I was so proud of Baba； of us。
But despite Baba s successes； people were always doubting him。 They told Baba that running a business wasn t in his blood and he should study law like his father。 So Baba proved them all wrong by not only running his own business but being one of the richest merchants in Kabul。 Baba and Rahim Khan built a wildly successful carpet…exporting business； two pharmacies； and a restaurant。
When people scoffed that Baba would never marry well……after all； he was not of royal blood……he wedded my mother； Sofia Akrami； a highly educated woman universally regarded as one of Kabul s most respected； beautiful； and virtuous ladies。 And not only did she teach classic Farsi literature at the university she was a descendant of the royal family； a fact that my father playfully rubbed in the skeptics faces by referring to her as my princess。
With me as the glaring exception； my father molded the world around him to his liking。 The problem； of course； was that Baba saw the world in black and white。 And he got to decide what was black and what was white。 You can t love a person who lives that way without fearing him too。 Maybe even hating him a little。
When I was in fifth grade； we had a mullah who taught us about Islam。 His name was Mullah Fatiullah Khan； a short； stubby man with a face full of acne scars and a gruff voice。 He lectured us about the virtues of _zakat_ and the duty of _hadj_； he taught us the intricacies of performing the five daily _namaz_ prayers； and made us memorize verses from the Koran……and though he never translated the words for us； he did stress； sometimes with the help of a stripped willow branch； that we had to pronounce the Arabic words correctly so God would hear us better。 He told us one day that Islam considered drinking a terrible sin； those who drank would answer for their sin on the day of _Qiyamat_； Judgment Day。 In those days； drinking was fairly mon in Kabul。 No one gave you a public lashing for it； but those Afghans who did drink did so in private； out of respect。 People bought their scotch as medicine in brown paper
bags from selected pharmacies。 They would leave with the bag tucked out of sight； sometimes drawing furtive； disapproving glances from those who knew about the store s reputation for such transactions。
We were upstairs in Baba s study； the smoking room； when I told him what Mullah Fatiullah Khan had taught us in class。 Baba was pouring himself a whiskey from the bar he had built in the corner of the room。 He listened； nodded； took a sip from his drink。 Then he lowered himself into the leather sofa； put down his drink； and propped me up on his lap。 I felt as if I were sitting on a pair of tree trunks。 He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose； the air hissing through his mustache for what seemed an eternity I couldn t decide whether I wanted to hug him or leap from his lap in mortal fear。
I see you ve confused what you re learning in school with actual education； he said in his thick voice。
But if what he said is true then does it make you a sinner； Baba？
Hmm。 Baba crushed an ice cube between his teeth。 Do you want to know what your father thinks about sin？
Yes。
Then I ll tell you； Baba said； but first understand this and understand it now； Amir： You ll never learn anything of value from those bearded idiots。
You mean Mullah Fatiullah Khan？
Baba gestured with his glass。 The ice clinked。 I mean all of them。 Piss on the beards of all those self…righteous monkeys。
I began to giggle。 The image of Baba pissing on the beard of any monkey； self…righteous or otherwise； was too much。
They do nothing but thumb their prayer beads and recite a book written in a tongue they don t even understand。 He took a sip。 God help us all if Afghanistan ever falls into their hands。
But Mullah Fatiullah Khan seems nice； I managed between bursts of tittering。
So did Genghis Khan； Baba said。 But enough about that。 You asked about sin and I want to tell you。 Are you listening？
Yes； I said； pressing my lips together。 But a chortle escaped through my nose and made a snorting sound。 That got me giggling again。
Baba s stony eyes bore into mine and； just like that； I wasn t laughing anymore。 I mean to speak to you man to ma