a croak； I am so khasta。 So very tired。 I sat by his bed until he fell asleep。 Something was lost between Sohrab and me。 Until my meeting with the lawyer； Omar Faisal； a light of hope had begun to enter Sohrab s eyes like a timid guest。 Now the light was gone； the guest had fled； and I wondered when it would dare return。 I wondered how long before Sohrab smiled again。 How long before he trusted me。 If ever。
So I left the room and went looking for another hotel； unaware that almost a year would pass before I would hear Sohrab speak another word。
IN THE END； Sohrab never accepted my offer。 Nor did he decline it。 But he knew that when the bandages were removed and the hospital garments returned； he was just another homeless Hazara orphan。 What choice did he have？ Where could he go？ So what I took as a yes from him was in actuality more of a quiet surrender； not so much an acceptance as an act of relinquishment by one too weary to decide； and far too tired to believe。 What he yearned for was his old life。 What he got was me and America。 Not that it was such a bad fate； everything considered； but I couldn t tell him that。 Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons。
And so it was that； about a week later； we crossed a strip of warm； black tarmac and I brought Hassan s son from Afghanistan to America； lifting him from the certainty of turmoil and dropping him in a turmoil of uncertainty。
ONE DAY； maybe around 1983 or 1984； I was at a video store in Fremont。 I was standing in the Westerns section when a guy next to me； sipping Coke from a 7…Eleven cup； pointed to _The Magnificent Seven_ and asked me if I had seen it。 Yes； thirteen times； I said。 Charles Bronson dies in it； so do James Coburn and Robert Vaughn。 He gave me a pinch…faced look； as if I had just spat in his soda。 Thanks a lot； man； he said； shaking his head and muttering something as he walked away。 That was when I learned that； in America； you don t reveal the ending of the movie； and if you do； you will be scorned and made to apologize profusely for having mitted the sin of Spoiling the End。
In Afghanistan； the ending was all that mattered。 When Hassan and I came home after watching a Hindi film at Cinema Zainab； what Ali； Rahim Khan； Baba； or the myriad of Baba s friends……second and third cousins milling in and out of the house……wanted to know was this： Did the Girl in the film find happiness？ Did the bacheh film； the Guy in the film； bee katnyab and fulfill his dreams； or was he nah…kam； doomed to wallow in failure？
Was there happiness at the end； they wanted to know。
If someone were to ask me today whether the story of Hassan； Sohrab； and me ends with happiness； I wouldn t know what to say。
Does anybody s？
After all； life is not a Hindi movie。 Zendagi migzara； Afghans like to say： Life goes on； unmindful of beginning； end； kamyab； nah…kam； crisis or catharsis； moving forward like a slow； dusty caravan of kochis。
I wouldn t know how to answer that question。 Despite the matter of last Sunday s tiny miracle。
WE ARRIVED HOME about seven months ago； on a warm day in August 2001。 Soraya picked us up at the airport。 I had never been away from Soraya for so long； and when she locked her arms around my neck； when I smelled apples in her hair； I realized how much I had missed her。 You re still the morning sun to my yelda； I whispered。
What？
Never mind。 I kissed her ear。
After； she knelt to eye level with Sohrab。 She took his hand and smiled at him。 Sataam； Sohrab jan； I m your Khala Soraya。 We ve all been waiting for you。
Looking at her smiling at Sohrab； her eyes tearing over a little； I had a glimpse of the mother she might have been； had her own womb not betrayed her。
Sohrab shifted on his feet and looked away。
SORAYA HAD TURNED THE STUDY upstairs into a bedroom for Sohrab。 She led him in and he sat on the edge of the bed。 The sheets showed brightly colored kites flying in indigo blue skies。 She had made inscriptions on the wall by the closet； feet and inches to measure a child s growing height。 At the foot of the bed； I saw a wicker basket stuffed with books； a lootive； a water color set。
Sohrab was wearing the plain white T…shirt and new denims I had bought him in Islamabad just before we d left……the shirt hung loosely over his bony； slumping shoulders。 The color still hadn t seeped back into his face； save for the halo of dark circles around his eyes。 He was looking at us now in the impassive way he looked at the plates of boiled rice the hospital orderly placed before him。
Soraya asked if he liked his room and I noticed that she was trying to avoid looking at his wrists and that her eyes kept swaying back to those jagged pink lines。 Sohrab lowered his head。 Hid his hands under his thighs and said nothing。
Then he simply lay his head on the pillow。 Less than five minutes later； Soraya and I watching from the doorway； he was snoring。
We went to bed； and Soraya fell asleep with her head on my chest。 In the darkness of our room； I lay awake； an insomniac once more。 Awake。 And alone with demons of my own。 Sometime in the middle of the night； I slid out of bed and went to Sohrab s room。 I stood over him； looking down； and saw some thing protruding from under his pillow。 I picked it up。 Saw it was Rahim Khan s Polaroid； the one I had given to Sohrab the night we had sat by the Shah Faisal Mosque。 The one of Hassan and Sohrab standing side by side； squinting in the light of the sun； and smiling like the world was a good and just place。 I wondered how long Sohrab had lain in bed staring at the photo； turning it in his hands。
I looked at the photo。