slowly press down on the plunger。
My hands go to my head and then drop to my lap； slick with blood。
The last thing I remember is an exquisitely beautiful greenand… silver moth landing on the curve of my wrist。
22
The sound of rain drumming on the roof of our house gently pulls me toward consciousness。 I fight to return to sleep though； wrapped in a warm cocoon of blankets； safe at home。 Iˇm vaguely aware that my head aches。 Possibly I have the flu and this is why Iˇm allowed to stay in bed； even though I can tell Iˇve been asleep a long time。 My motherˇs hand strokes my cheek and I donˇt push it away as I would in wakefulness； never wanting her to know how much I crave that gentle touch。 How much I miss her even though I still donˇt trust her。 Then thereˇs a voice； the wrong voice； not my motherˇs； and Iˇm scared。
¨Katniss；〃 it says。 ¨Katniss； can you hear me？〃
My eyes open and the sense of security vanishes。 Iˇm not home； not with my mother。 Iˇm in a dim； chilly cave； my bare feet freezing despite the cover； the air tainted with the unmistakable smell of blood。 The haggard； pale face of a boy slides into view； and after an initial jolt of alarm； I feel better。 ¨Peeta。〃
¨Hey；〃 he says。 ¨Good to see your eyes again。〃
¨How long have I been out？〃 I ask。
¨Not sure。 I woke up yesterday evening and you were lying next to me in a very scary pool of blood；〃 he says。 ¨I think itˇs stopped finally； but I wouldnˇt sit up or anything。〃
I gingerly lift my hand to my head and find it bandaged。 This simple gesture leaves me weak and dizzy。 Peeta holds a bottle to my lips and I drink thirstily。
¨Youˇre better；〃 I say。
¨Much better。 Whatever you shot into my arm did the trick；〃 he says。 ¨By this morning； almost all the swelling in my leg was gone。〃
He doesnˇt seem angry about my tricking him； drugging him； and running off to the feast。 Maybe Iˇm just too beat…up and Iˇll hear about it later when Iˇm stronger。 But for the moment； heˇs all gentleness。
¨Did you eat？〃 I ask。
¨Iˇm sorry to say I gobbled down three pieces of that groosling before I realized it might have to last a while。 Donˇt worry； Iˇm back on a strict diet；〃 he says。
¨No； itˇs good。 You need to eat。 Iˇll go hunting soon；〃 I say。
¨Not too soon； all right？〃 he says。 ¨You just let me take care of you for a while。〃
I donˇt really seem to have much choice。 Peeta feeds me bites of groosling and raisins and makes me drink plenty of water。 He rubs some warmth back into my feet and wraps them in his jacket before tucking the sleeping bag back up around my chin。
¨Your boots and socks are still damp and the weatherˇs not helping much；〃 he says。 Thereˇs a clap of thunder； and I see lightning electrify the sky through an opening in the rocks。 Rain drips through several holes in the ceiling； but Peeta has built a sort of canopy over my head an upper body by wedging the square of plastic into the rock above me。
¨I wonder what brought on this storm？ I mean； whoˇs the target？〃 says Peeta。
¨Cato and Thresh；〃 I say without thinking。 ¨Foxface will be in her den somewhere； and Clove 。 。 。 she cut me an then 。 。 。〃 My voice trails off。
¨I know Cloveˇs dead。 I saw it in the sky last night；〃 he says。 ¨Did you kill her？〃
¨No。 Thresh broke her skull with a rock；〃 I say。
¨Lucky he didnˇt catch you； too；〃 says Peeta。
The memory of the feast returns full…force and I feel sick。 ¨He did。 But he let me go。〃 Then； of course； I have to tell him。 About things Iˇve kept to myself because he was too sick to ask and I wasnˇt ready to relive anyway。 Like the explosion and my ear and Rueˇs dying and the boy from District 1 and the bread。 All of which leads to what happened with Thresh and how he was paying off a debt of sorts。
¨He let you go because he didnˇt want to owe you anything？〃 asks Peeta in disbelief。
¨Yes。 I donˇt expect you to understand it。 Youˇve always had enough。 But if youˇd lived in the Seam； I wouldnˇt have to explain；〃 I say。
¨And donˇt try。 Obviously Iˇm too dim to get it。〃
¨Itˇs like the bread。 How I never seem to get over owing you for that；〃 I say。
¨The bread？ What？ From when we were kids？〃 he says。 ¨I think we can let that go。 I mean； you just brought me back from the dead。〃
¨But you didnˇt know me。 We had never even spoken。 Besides； itˇs the first gift thatˇs always the hardest to pay back。 I wouldnˇt even have been here to do it if you hadnˇt helped me then；〃 I say。 ¨Why did you； anyway？〃
¨Why？ You know why；〃 Peeta says。 I give my head a slight； painful shake。 ¨Haymitch said you would take a lot of convincing。〃
¨Haymitch？〃 I ask。 ¨Whatˇs he got to do with it？〃
¨Nothing；〃 Peeta says。 ¨So； Cato and Thresh； huh？ I guess itˇs too much to hope that theyˇll simultaneously destroy each other？〃
But the thought only upsets me。 ¨I think we would like Thresh。 I think heˇd be our friend back in District Twelve；〃 I say。
¨Then letˇs hope Cato kills him； so we donˇt have to；〃 says Peeta grimly。
I donˇt want Cato to kill Thresh at all。 I donˇt want anyone else to die。 But this is absolutely not the kind of thing that victors go around saying in the arena。 Despite my best efforts； I can feel tears starting to pool in my eyes。
Peeta looks at me in concern。 ¨What is it？ Are you in a lot of pain？〃
I give him another answer； because it is equally true but can be taken as a brief moment of weakness instead of a terminal one。 ¨I want to go home； Peeta；〃 I say plaintively； like a small child。
¨You will。 I promise；〃 he says； and bends over to give me a kiss。
¨I want to go home now；〃 I say。
¨Tell you what。 You go back to sleep and dream of home。 And youˇll be there for real before you know it；〃 lie says。 ¨Okay？〃
¨Okay；〃 I whisper。 ¨Wake me if you need me to keep watch。〃
¨Iˇm good and rested； thanks to you and Haymitch。 Besides； who knows how long this will last？〃 he says。
What does he mean？ The storm？ The brief respite ii brings us？ The Games themselves？ I donˇt know； but Iˇm ion sad and tired to ask。
Itˇs evening when Peeta wakes me again。 The rain has turned to a downpour； sending streams of water through our ceiling where earlier there had been only drips。 Peeta has placed the broth pot under the worst one and repositioned the plastic to deflect most of it from me。 I feel a bit better； able to sit up without getting too dizzy； and Iˇm absolutely famished。 So is Peeta。 Itˇs clear heˇs been waiting for me to wake up to eat and is eager to get started。
Thereˇs not much left。 Two pieces of groosling； a small mishmash of roots； and a handful of dried fruit。
¨Should we try and ration it？〃 Peeta asks。
¨No； letˇs just finish it。 The grooslingˇs getting old anyway； and the last thing we need is to get sick off spoilt food；〃 I say； dividing the food into two equal piles。 We try and eat slowly； but weˇre both so hungry were done in a couple of minutes。 My stomach is in no way satisfied。 ¨Tomorrowˇs a hunting day；〃 I say。
¨I wonˇt be much help with that；〃 Peeta says。 ¨Iˇve never hunted before。〃
¨Iˇll kill and you cook；〃 I say。 ¨And you can always gather。〃
¨I wish there was some sort of bread bush out there；〃 says Peeta。
¨The bread they sent me from District Eleven was still warm；〃 I say with a sigh。 ¨Here； chew these。〃 I hand him a couple of mint leaves and pop a few in my own mouth。
Itˇs hard to even see the projection in the sky； but itˇs clear enough to know there were no more deaths today。 So Cato and Thresh havenˇt had it out yet。
¨Where did Thresh go？ I mean； whatˇs on the far side of the circle？〃 I ask Peeta。
¨A field。 As far as you can see itˇs full of grasses as high as my shoulders。 I donˇt know； maybe some of them are grain。 There are patches of different colors。 But there are no paths；〃 says Peeta。
¨I bet some of them are grain。 I bet Thresh knows which ones； too；〃 I say。 ¨Did you go in there？〃
¨No。 Nobody really wanted to track Thresh down in that grass。 It has a sinister feeling to it。 Every time I look at that field； all I can think of are hidden things。 Snakes； and rabid animals； and quicksand；〃 Peeta says。 ¨There could be anything in there。〃
I donˇt say so but Peetaˇs words remind me of the warnings they give us about not going beyond the fence in District 12。 I canˇt help； for a moment； paring him with Gale； who would see that field as a potential source of food as well as a threat。 Thresh certainly did。 Itˇs not that Peetaˇs soft exactly； and heˇs proved heˇs not a coward。 But there are things you donˇt question too much； I guess； when your home always smells like baking bread； whereas Gale questions everything。 What would Peeta think of the irreverent banter that passes between us as we break the law each day？ Would it shock him？ The things we say about Panem？ Galeˇs tirades against the Capitol？
¨Maybe there is a bread bush in that field；〃 I say。 ¨Maybe thatˇs why Thresh looks better fed now than when we started the Games。〃
¨Either that or heˇs got very generous sponsors；〃 says Peeta。 ¨I wonder what weˇd have to do to get Haymitch to send us some bread。〃
I raise my eyebrows before I remember he doesnˇt know about the message Haymitch sent us a couple of nights ago。 One kiss equals one pot of broth。 Itˇs not the sort of thing I can blurt out； either。 To say my thoughts aloud would be tipping off the audience that the romance has been fabricated to play on their sympathies and that would result in no food at all。 Somehow； believably； Iˇve got to get things back on track。 Something simple to start with。 I reach out and take his hand。
¨Well； he probably used up a lot of resources helping me knock you out；〃 I say mischievously。
¨Yeah； about that；〃 says Peeta； entwining his fingers in mine。 ¨Donˇt try something like that again。〃
¨Or what？〃 I ask。
¨Or 。 。 。 or 。 。 。〃 He canˇt think of anything good。 ¨Just give me a minute。〃
¨Whatˇs the problem？〃 I say with a grin。
¨The problem is weˇre both still alive。 Which only reinforces the idea in your mind that you did the right thing；〃 says Peeta。
¨I did do the right thing；〃 I say。
¨No！ Just donˇt； Katniss！〃 His grip tightens； hurting my hand； and thereˇs real anger in his voice。 ¨Donˇt die for me。 You wonˇt be doing me any favors。 All right？〃
Iˇm startled by his intensity but recognize an excellent opportunity for getting food； so I try to keep up。 ¨Maybe I did it for myself； Peeta； did you ever think of that？ Maybe you arenˇt the only one who 。 。 。 who worries about 。 。 。 what it would be like if。 。 。〃
I fumble。 Iˇm not as smooth with words as Peeta。 And while I was talking； the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I donˇt want him to die。 And itˇs not about the sponsors。 And itˇs not about what will happen back home。 And itˇs not just that I donˇt want to be alone。 Itˇs him。 I do not want to lose the boy with the bread。
¨If what； Katniss？〃 he says softly。
I wish I could pull the shutters closed； blocking out this moment from the prying eyes of Panem。 Even if it means losing food。 Whatever Iˇm feeling； itˇs no oneˇs business but mine。
¨Thatˇs exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to steer clear of；〃 I say e