time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)- 第68部分

　　
　　〃You'll　need　help　loading　them。　And　I　don't　want　to　be　away　from　you；　truly　I　don't。〃
　　
　　Lazarus　stopped　and　looked　at　her。　〃You're　more　upset　than　you　let　on。　That's　mon；　too…steady　in　the　clutch；　then　a　reaction　afterwards。　So　let's　work　it　out。　I　don't　fancy　leaving　the　kids　alone　that　long；　nor　do　I　want　them　in　a　wagon　loaded　with　all　that　bad　meat。　Suppose　I　drive　just　a　short　distance　tonight…say　three…hundred　meters　or　so…while　you　start　a　kettle　of　water？　I'm　going　to　want　another　bath　after　this　job　even　if　I　manage　not　to　get　a　drop　of　blood　on　me。〃
　　
　　〃Yes；　sir。〃
　　
　　〃Dora；　you　don't　sound　happy。〃
　　
　　〃I'll　do　it　your　way。　But　I　could　wake　Zaccur　and　have　him　baby…sit。　He's　used　to　it。〃
　　
　　〃Very　well；　dear。　But　first　we　load　them。　You　can　hold　up　their　feet　while　I　drag　them。　If　you　throw　up；　I'll　assume　that　you'll　baby…sit　while　I　finish　this　chore。〃
　　
　　〃I　won't　throw　up。　I　ate　very　little。〃
　　
　　〃I　didn't　eat　much　either。〃　They　got　on　with　the　grisly　task；　Lazarus　continued　to　talk。　〃Dora；　you　did　a　perfect　job。〃
　　
　　〃I　caught　your　signal。　You　gave　me　plenty　of　time。〃
　　
　　〃I　wasn't　sure　he　was　going　to　push　it　to　a　ahowdown　even　when　I　signa~ed。〃
　　
　　…〃Really；　dear？　I　knew　what　they　meant　to　do…kill　you　and　rape　？e…before　they　ever　sat　down　to　eat。　Couldn't　you　feel　it？　So　I　made　sure　that　they　ate　plenty…to　slow　them　down。〃
　　
　　〃Dora；　you　really　do　sense　emotions…don't　you？〃
　　
　　〃Mind　his　head；　dear。　When　they're　as　strong　as　that；　I　do。　But　I　wasn't　sure　how　you　would　handle　it。　I　made　up　my　mind　to　be　raped　all　night　if　that　was　what　it　took　for　you　to　set　up　a　safe　chance。〃　'　…
　　
　　Her　husband　answered　soberly；　〃Dora；　I　will　allow　you　to　be　raped　only　if　that　is　the　only　possible　way　to　save　your
　　
　　…　life。　Tonight　it　was　not　necessary。　Thank　goodness！　But　Montgomery　had　me　worried　at　the　gate。　Three　guns　out…　in　the　open　and　mine　still　under　my　kilt…　Could　have　been　a　problem。　Since　he　meant　to　take　me　anyhow；　he　should　have　done　it　then。　Durable；　three…fourths　of　any　fight　lies　in　not　hesitating　when　the　time　es。　Which　is　why　I'm　so　proud　of　you。〃
　　
　　〃But　you　set　it　up；　Lazarus。　You　signaled　me　to　get　into　position；　you　stayed　on　your　feet　when　he　told　you　to　sit　down；　you　went　around　to　the　end　of　the　table　and　pulled　their　eyes　with　you…and　stayed　out　of　my　line　of　fire。　Thank　you。　All　I　had　to　do　was　shoot　when　he　got　out　his　gun。〃
　　
　　〃Of　course　I　stayed　out　of　your　line　of　fire；　dear；　this　isn't
　　
　　…my　first　time　by　too　many。　But　it　was　your　straight　shooting　that　gave　me　time；　to　put　my　knife　into　Dan　instead　of　having　；to　settle　his　father　first。　And　Lady　did　me　the　same　favot　with　Darby。　You　two　girls　saved　me　from　having　to　be　three　places　at　once。　Which　I've　always　found　difficult。〃　…
　　
　　〃You　trained　both　of　us。〃
　　
　　〃Mmm；　yes。　Which　detracts　not　at　all　from　the　admirable　fact　that　you　held　your　fire　until　he　mitted　himself…then　lost　not　a　split　second　in　taking　him。　As　if　you　were　a　veteran　of　a　hundred　gun　battles　rather　than　none。　You　might　go　around　and　steady　the　mules　while　I　get　this　tailgate　open。〃
　　
　　〃Yes；　dear。〃　…
　　
　　She　had　just　reached　the　lead　pair　and　spoken　soothingly　to　them　when　he　called　out：　〃Dora！　Here　a　minute。〃
　　
　　She　came　back；　he　said；　〃Look　at　that。〃
　　
　　It　was　a　flat　piece　of　standstone　he　had　removed　from　the　end　of　the　wagon　bed　and　laid　on　the　ground　by　the　corpses。
　　
　　It　was　carved　with：…
　　
　　…BucK
　　
　　BORN　ON　EARTH
　　
　　3031　A。D。
　　
　　…　…Dmn　ON　TillS　SPOT
　　
　　N。B。37…　He　Always　Did　His　Best　…
　　
　　She　said；　〃Lazarus~　I　don't　understand　it。　I　can　undemta~id　why　they　intended　to　rape　me…I'm　probahly　the　first　woman　they've　seen　in　many　weeks。　I　can　even　understand　that　they　would　kill　you；　or　do　anything；　to　get　at　me。　But　why　would
　　
　　…　they　steal　this？〃
　　
　　〃It's　not　exactly　'why；'　dear　。　。　People　who　don't　respect　other　people's　property　will　do　anything　。　。　and　will　steal　anything　that's　not　nailed　down。　Even　if　they　have　no　use　for　it。〃　He　added；　〃Had　I　known　this　earlier；　I　would　have　given　them　no　chance。　Such　people　should　be　destroyed　on　sight。　The　problem　is　to　identify　them。〃
　　
　　Minerva；　Dora　is　the　only　woman　I　ever　loved　unreservedly。　I　don't　know　that　I　can　explain　why。　I　did　not　love　her　that　way　when　I　married　her；　she　had　not　had　a　chance　as　yet　to
　　
　　…teach　me　what　love　can　be。　Oh；　I　did　love　her；　but　it　was　the　love　of　a　doting　father　for　a　favorite　child　or　somewhat　like　the　love　one　can　lavish　on　a　pet。　…
　　
　　I　decided　to　marry　her　not　through　love　in　any　deepest　sense　but　simply　because　this　adorable　child　who　had　given　me　so　many　hours　of　happiness　wanted　something　very　badly
　　
　　…my　child…and　there　was　only　one　way　I　could　give　her　what　she　wanted　and　still　please　my　own　self…love。　So；　almost　coldly；　I　calculated　the　cost　and　decided　that　the　price　was　low　enough　that　I　could　let　her　have　what　she　wanted。　It　could　not　cost　me　much；　she　was　an　ephemeral。　Fifty；　sixty；　seventy；　at　the　most　eighty　years；　and　she　would　be　dead。　I　could　afford　to　spend　that　trivial　amount　of　time　to　make　my　adopted　daughter's　pitifully　short　life　happy…that's　how　I　figured　it。　It　wasn't　much；　and　I　could　afford　it。　So　be…it。　…
　　
　　All　the　rest　was　just　a　case　of　no　half　measures；　do　whatever　else　is　necessary　to　your　main　purpose。　I　told　you　some　of　the　possibilities；　I　may　not　have　mentioned　that　I　considered　taking　？ack　the　captaincy　of　the　Andy　I。　for　Dora's　lifetime；　have　Zaccur　Briggs　take　the　ground　side　of　the　partnership　or　buy　him　out　if　that　didn't　suit　him。　But　while　eighty…odd　years　in　a　starship　would　not　stonker　me；　to　Dora　it　would　be　a　lifetime　and　it　might　not　suit　her。　Besides；　a　ship　is　not　an　ideal　place　to　raise　kids…what　do　you　do　when　they　grow　up？　Drop'　them　off　somewhere　not　knowing　anything　but　ship's　routine？　Not　good。
　　
　　I　decided　that　the　husband　of　an　ephemeral　had　to　be　an　ephemeral；　in　every　way　possible　to　him。　The　corollaries　to　that　decision　caused　us　to　wind　up　in　Happy　Valley。
　　
　　Happy　Valley…　The　happiest　of　all　my　lives。　The　longer　I　was　privileged　to　live　with　Dora；　the　more　I　loved　her。　She　taught　me　to　love　by　loving　me；　and　I　learned…rather　slowly；　I　wasn't　too　good　a　pupil；　being　set　in　my　ways　and　lacking　her　natural　talent。　But　I　did　learn。　Learned　that　…supreme　happiness　lies　in　wanting　to　keep　another　person　safe　and　warm　and　happy；　and　being　privileged；　to　try。
　　
　　And　the　saddest；　too。　The　more　thoroughly　I　learned　this…　through　living　day…on　day　with　Dora…the　happier　I　was
　　
　　and　the　more　I　ached　in　one　corner　of　my　mind　with　certain　knowledge　that　this　could　be　only　a　brief　time　too　soon　over
　　
　　…and　when　it　was　over；　I　did　not　marry　again　for　almost　a　hundred　years。　Then　I　did；　for　Dora　taught　me　to　face　up　to　death；　too。　She　was　as　aware　of　her　own　death；　of　the　certain　briefness　of　her　life；　as　I　was。　But　she　taught　me　to　live　now；　not　to　let　anything　sully　today　。　。　until　at　last　I　got　over　the　sadness　of　being　condemned　to　live。
　　
　　We　had　a　wonderfully　good　time！　Working　our　arses　off；　always　too　much　to　do；　and　enjoying　every　minute。　Never　too　rushed　to　enjoy　life　no　matter　what。　Sometimes　just　pat…ass　and　squeeze…titty　as　I　hurried　through　the　kitchen；　ile　acknowledging　it；　sometimes　a'　lazy　hour　on　the　roof　invested　in　watching　sunset　and　stars　and　moons；　usually　with　〃Eros〃　to　make　it　sweeter。　…
　　
　　I　guess　you　could　say　that　sex　was　our　only　active　amusement　for　a　number　of　years　（and　never　stopped　being　in　first　place　as　Dora　was　as　enthusiastic　at　seventy　as　at　seventeen…　just　not　as　limber）。　I　was　usually　too　tired　to　play　good　chess　even　though　I　made　us　a　set　of　chessmen；　we　had　no　other　games　and　probably　would　not　have　played　them　anyhow…　too　busy。　Oh；　we　did　do　other　things；　often　one　of　us　would　read　aloud　while　the　other　knitted　or　cooked　or　something。　Or　we　would　sing　together；　coonjining　the　rhythm　while　we　pitched　grain　or　manure。
　　
　　We　worked　together　as　much　as　possible；　division　of　labor　came　only　from　natural　limits。　I　can't　bear　a　baby　or　suckle　it；　but'　I　can　do　anything　else　for　a　child。　Dora　could　not　do　some　th~ga　that　I　did　because　they　were　too　heavy　for　her；　especially　…when　she　was　far　gone　in　pregnancy。　She　had　more　talent　fos~ooking　than　I　（I　had　centuries　more　experience　but　not　her　louch）；　and　she　cpuld　cook　while　she　took　care　of　a　baby　and　tended　the　smallest　children；　ones　too　small　to　join　me　in　the　fields。　But　I　did　cook；　especially　breakfast　while　she
　　
　　got　the　kids　…organized；　…and　she　did　help　work　the　farm　ard　especially。the　truck　garden。　She　knew　nothing　of　farming；　she　learned。　…
　　
　　Nor　did　she　know　construction…she　learned。　While　I　did　most　of　the　high　work；　she　made　most　of　the　adobe　bricks；　always　with　the　right　amount　of　straw。　Adobe　was　not　well　suited　to　the　climate…too　much　rain　and　it　can　be　discouraging　to　see　a　wall　start　to　melt　because　an　unexpected　rain　has　caught　you　before　you've　topped　it。
　　
　　But…　you　build　from　what　you　have；　and　it　helped　that　I　had　the　tqps　from　the　wagons　to　peg　against　the　most　exposed　walls；　until　…I　worked　out　a　way　to　waterproof　an　adobe　wall。　I　did　not　consider　a　log　cabin；　good　timber　was　too　far　away。　It　took　the　mules　and　me　a　full　day　to　bring　in　two　logs；　whi~。h　made　them　too　expensive　for　most　construction。　Instead；　I　made　do　with　smaller　stuff　that　grew　along　the　banks　of　Buck's　River　and　dragged　in　logs　only　for　beams。
　　
　　Nor　did　I　want　to　build　a　house　that　was　not　as　near　firep？oof　as　I　could　make　it。　Baby　Dora　had　once　almost　been　burned　to　death；　I　would　not　risk　it　again　for　Dora；　or　for　her　children。
　　
　　But　how　to　make　a　roof　both　watertight　and　fireproof　nearly　stumped　me。　…
　　
　　I　walked　past　the　answer　hundreds　of　times　before　I　recognized　it。　When　wind　and　weather　and　rot　and　lopers　and　insects　have　done　their　worst　on　a　dead　dragon；　what　is　left　is　almost　indestructible。　I　discovered　this　when　I　tried　to　bum　what　was　left　of　a　big　brute　that　was　unpleasantly　close　to　our　pound。　I　never　did　find　out　why　this　was　so。　Perhaps　the　biochemistry　of　those　dragons　has　been　investigated　since　then；　but　I　had　neither　equipment　nor　time　nor　interest；　I　was　too　busy　scratching　a　living　for　my　family　and　was　simply　delighted　to　learn　that　it　was　true。　Belly　hide　I　cut　into　fireproof；　waterproof　tarpaulins；　back　and　sides　made　excellent　roofing。　Later　I　found　many　uses　for　the　bones。
　　
　　We　both　taught　school；　indoors　and　out。　Perhaps　our　kids　had　a　weird　education　…　…　but　a　girl　who　can　shape　a　fortable　and　handsome　saddle　starting　with　a　dead；…　mule　and　not　much　else；　solve　quadratics　in　her　head；　shoot　straight　with　gun　or　arrow；　cook　an　omelet　that　is　light　and　tastye　spout
　　
　　第44节
　　
　　…　page　after　page　of　Shakespeare；　butcher　a　hog　and　cure　it　can't　be　called　ignorant　by　New　Beginnings　standards。　All　our
　　
　　girls　and　boys　could　do　all　of　that　and　more。　I　must　admit…　that　they　spoke　a　rather　lorid　brand　of　English；　espe　~i