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or¡¡of¡¡Yellow¡¡Jack¡£

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General£»¡¡I¡¡am¡¡contented¡£¡¡Dear¡¡papa£»¡¡dear¡¡papa¡£'

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instantly£»¡¡and¡¡sent¡¡her¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡house¡£¡¡I¡¡applaud¡¡him¡¡for¡¡it¡£¡¡I¡¡could
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what¡¡I¡¡would¡¡have¡¡done¡¡myself£¡'

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'Halloa£¡'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Sparkler¡£¡¡'Who's¡¡this£¿'

'Not¡¡Amy¡¡and¡¡Edward¡¡without¡¡notice¡¡and¡¡without¡¡a¡¡carriage£¡'¡¡said¡¡Mrs
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unknown¡¡below¡£

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look¡£¡¡He¡¡came¡¡back¡¡as¡¡the¡¡door¡¡was¡¡opened£»¡¡and¡¡announced¡¡that¡¡he
believed¡¡he¡¡had¡¡identified¡¡'his¡¡governor's¡¡tile¡£'¡¡He¡¡was¡¡not¡¡mistaken£»
for¡¡his¡¡governor£»¡¡with¡¡his¡¡tile¡¡in¡¡his¡¡hand£»¡¡was¡¡introduced¡¡immediately
afterwards¡£

'Candles£¡'¡¡said¡¡Mrs¡¡Sparkler£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡word¡¡of¡¡excuse¡¡for¡¡the¡¡darkness¡£

'It's¡¡light¡¡enough¡¡for¡¡me£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£

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'Well£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡'I¡¡haven't¡¡been¡¡dining¡¡anywhere£»¡¡particularly¡£'

'Of¡¡course¡¡you¡¡have¡¡dined£¿'¡¡said¡¡Fanny¡£

'Why¡­¡­no£»¡¡I¡¡haven't¡¡exactly¡¡dined£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£

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were¡¡not¡¡sure¡¡about¡¡it¡£¡¡Something¡¡to¡¡eat¡¡was¡¡proposed¡£¡¡'No£»¡¡thank¡¡you£»'
said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡'I¡¡don't¡¡feel¡¡inclined¡¡for¡¡it¡£¡¡I¡¡was¡¡to¡¡have¡¡dined¡¡out
along¡¡with¡¡Mrs¡¡Merdle¡£¡¡But¡¡as¡¡I¡¡didn't¡¡feel¡¡inclined¡¡for¡¡dinner£»¡¡I¡¡let
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thought¡¡I'd¡¡take¡¡a¡¡stroll¡¡instead¡£'

Would¡¡he¡¡have¡¡tea¡¡or¡¡coffee£¿¡¡'No£»¡¡thank¡¡you£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£¡¡'I¡¡looked
in¡¡at¡¡the¡¡Club£»¡¡and¡¡got¡¡a¡¡bottle¡¡of¡¡wine¡£'

At¡¡this¡¡period¡¡of¡¡his¡¡visit£»¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡¡took¡¡the¡¡chair¡¡which¡¡Edmund
Sparkler¡¡had¡¡offered¡¡him£»¡¡and¡¡which¡¡he¡¡had¡¡hitherto¡¡been¡¡pushing¡¡slowly
about¡¡before¡¡him£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡dull¡¡man¡¡with¡¡a¡¡pair¡¡of¡¡skates¡¡on¡¡for¡¡the¡¡first
time£»¡¡who¡¡could¡¡not¡¡make¡¡up¡¡his¡¡mind¡¡to¡¡start¡£¡¡He¡¡now¡¡put¡¡his¡¡hat¡¡upon
another¡¡chair¡¡beside¡¡him£»¡¡and£»¡¡looking¡¡down¡¡into¡¡it¡¡as¡¡if¡¡it¡¡were¡¡some
twenty¡¡feet¡¡deep£»¡¡said¡¡again£º¡¡'You¡¡see¡¡I¡¡thought¡¡I'd¡¡give¡¡you¡¡a¡¡call¡£'

'Flattering¡¡to¡¡us£»'¡¡said¡¡Fanny£»¡¡'for¡¡you¡¡are¡¡not¡¡a¡¡calling¡¡man¡£'

'No¡­¡­no£»'¡¡returned¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡by¡¡this¡¡time¡¡taking¡¡himself¡¡into
custody¡¡under¡¡both¡¡coat¡­sleeves¡£¡¡'No£»¡¡I¡¡am¡¡not¡¡a¡¡calling¡¡man¡£'

'You¡¡have¡¡too¡¡much¡¡to¡¡do¡¡for¡¡that£»'¡¡said¡¡Fanny¡£¡¡'Having¡¡so¡¡much¡¡to¡¡do£»
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have¡¡it¡¡seen¡¡to¡£¡¡You¡¡must¡¡not¡¡be¡¡ill¡£'¡¡'Oh£¡¡¡I¡¡am¡¡very¡¡well£»'¡¡replied¡¡Mr
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well¡¡enough¡£¡¡I¡¡am¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡I¡¡want¡¡to¡¡be¡£'

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times¡¡a¡¡mind¡¡that¡¡had¡¡as¡¡little¡¡as¡¡possible¡¡to¡¡say¡¡for¡¡itself¡¡and¡¡great
difficulty¡¡in¡¡saying¡¡it£»¡¡became¡¡mute¡¡again¡£¡¡Mrs¡¡Sparkler¡¡began¡¡to¡¡wonder
how¡¡long¡¡the¡¡master¡­mind¡¡meant¡¡to¡¡stay¡£

'I¡¡was¡¡speaking¡¡of¡¡poor¡¡papa¡¡when¡¡you¡¡came¡¡in£»¡¡sir¡£'

'Aye£¡¡¡Quite¡¡a¡¡coincidence£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£

Fanny¡¡did¡¡not¡¡see¡¡that£»¡¡but¡¡felt¡¡it¡¡incumbent¡¡on¡¡her¡¡to¡¡continue
talking¡£¡¡'I¡¡was¡¡saying£»'¡¡she¡¡pursued£»¡¡'that¡¡my¡¡brother's¡¡illness¡¡has
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'Yes£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡'yes¡£¡¡There¡¡has¡¡been¡¡a¡¡delay¡£'

'Not¡¡that¡¡it¡¡is¡¡of¡¡consequence£»'¡¡said¡¡Fanny¡£

'Not£»'¡¡assented¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡after¡¡having¡¡examined¡¡the¡¡cornice¡¡of¡¡all
that¡¡part¡¡of¡¡the¡¡room¡¡which¡¡was¡¡within¡¡his¡¡range£º¡¡'not¡¡that¡¡it¡¡is¡¡of¡¡any
consequence¡£'

'My¡¡only¡¡anxiety¡¡is£»'¡¡said¡¡Fanny£»¡¡'that¡¡Mrs¡¡General¡¡should¡¡not¡¡get
anything¡£'

'She¡¡won't¡¡get¡¡anything£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£

Fanny¡¡was¡¡delighted¡¡to¡¡hear¡¡him¡¡express¡¡the¡¡opinion¡£¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡after
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something¡¡at¡¡the¡¡bottom£»¡¡rubbed¡¡his¡¡hair¡¡and¡¡slowly¡¡appended¡¡to¡¡his¡¡last
remark¡¡the¡¡confirmatory¡¡words£»¡¡'Oh¡¡dear¡¡no¡£¡¡No¡£¡¡Not¡¡she¡£¡¡Not¡¡likely¡£'

As¡¡the¡¡topic¡¡seemed¡¡exhausted£»¡¡and¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡¡too£»¡¡Fanny¡¡inquired¡¡if¡¡he
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'No£»'¡¡he¡¡answered£»¡¡'I¡¡shall¡¡go¡¡by¡¡the¡¡shortest¡¡way£»¡¡and¡¡leave¡¡Mrs¡¡Merdle
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telling¡¡his¡¡own¡¡fortune¡­¡­'to¡¡take¡¡care¡¡of¡¡herself¡£¡¡I¡¡dare¡¡say¡¡she'll
manage¡¡to¡¡do¡¡it¡£'

'Probably£»'¡¡said¡¡Fanny¡£

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retirement¡¡from¡¡mundane¡¡affairs¡£

'But£»¡¡however£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡'I¡¡am¡¡equally¡¡detaining¡¡you¡¡and¡¡myself¡£
I¡¡thought¡¡I'd¡¡give¡¡you¡¡a¡¡call£»¡¡you¡¡know¡£'

'Charmed£»¡¡I¡¡am¡¡sure£»'¡¡said¡¡Fanny¡£

'So¡¡I¡¡am¡¡off£»'¡¡added¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡getting¡¡up¡£¡¡'Could¡¡you¡¡lend¡¡me¡¡a
penknife£¿'

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prevail¡¡upon¡¡herself¡¡even¡¡to¡¡write¡¡a¡¡letter£»¡¡to¡¡lend¡¡to¡¡a¡¡man¡¡of¡¡such
vast¡¡business¡¡as¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£¡¡'Isn't¡¡it£¿'¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡¡acquiesced£»¡¡'but
I¡¡want¡¡one£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡know¡¡you¡¡have¡¡got¡¡several¡¡little¡¡wedding¡¡keepsakes
about£»¡¡with¡¡scissors¡¡and¡¡tweezers¡¡and¡¡such¡¡things¡¡in¡¡them¡£¡¡You¡¡shall
have¡¡it¡¡back¡¡to¡­morrow¡£'

'Edmund£»'¡¡said¡¡Mrs¡¡Sparkler£»¡¡'open¡¡£¨now£»¡¡very¡¡carefully£»¡¡I¡¡beg¡¡and
beseech£»¡¡for¡¡you¡¡are¡¡so¡¡very¡¡awkward£©¡¡the¡¡mother¡¡of¡¡pearl¡¡box¡¡on¡¡my
little¡¡table¡¡there£»¡¡and¡¡give¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡¡the¡¡mother¡¡of¡¡pearl¡¡penknife¡£'

'Thank¡¡you£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡'but¡¡if¡¡you¡¡have¡¡got¡¡one¡¡with¡¡a¡¡darker
handle£»¡¡I¡¡think¡¡I¡¡should¡¡prefer¡¡one¡¡with¡¡a¡¡darker¡¡handle¡£'

'Tortoise¡­shell£¿'

'Thank¡¡you£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡'yes¡£¡¡I¡¡think¡¡I¡¡should¡¡prefer
tortoise¡­shell¡£'

Edmund¡¡accordingly¡¡received¡¡instructions¡¡to¡¡open¡¡the¡¡tortoise¡­shell¡¡box£»
and¡¡give¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡¡the¡¡tortoise¡­shell¡¡knife¡£¡¡On¡¡his¡¡doing¡¡so£»¡¡his¡¡wife
said¡¡to¡¡the¡¡master¡­spirit¡¡graciously£º

'I¡¡will¡¡forgive¡¡you£»¡¡if¡¡you¡¡ink¡¡it¡£'

'I'll¡¡undertake¡¡not¡¡to¡¡ink¡¡it£»'¡¡said¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle¡£

The¡¡illustrious¡¡visitor¡¡then¡¡put¡¡out¡¡his¡¡coat¡­cuff£»¡¡and¡¡for¡¡a¡¡moment
entombed¡¡Mrs¡¡Sparkler's¡¡hand£º¡¡wrist£»¡¡bracelet£»¡¡and¡¡all¡£¡¡Where¡¡his¡¡own
hand¡¡had¡¡shrunk¡¡to£»¡¡was¡¡not¡¡made¡¡manifest£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡was¡¡as¡¡remote¡¡from¡¡Mrs
Sparkler's¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡touch¡¡as¡¡if¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡a¡¡highly¡¡meritorious¡¡Chelsea
Veteran¡¡or¡¡Greenwich¡¡Pensioner¡£

Thoroughly¡¡convinced£»¡¡as¡¡he¡¡went¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡room£»¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡the
longest¡¡day¡¡that¡¡ever¡¡did¡¡e¡¡to¡¡an¡¡end¡¡at¡¡last£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡there¡¡never
was¡¡a¡¡woman£»¡¡not¡¡wholly¡¡devoid¡¡of¡¡personal¡¡attractions£»¡¡so¡¡worn¡¡out¡¡by
idiotic¡¡and¡¡lumpish¡¡people£»¡¡Fanny¡¡passed¡¡into¡¡the¡¡balcony¡¡for¡¡a¡¡breath
of¡¡air¡£¡¡Waters¡¡of¡¡vexation¡¡filled¡¡her¡¡eyes£»¡¡and¡¡they¡¡had¡¡the¡¡effect¡¡of
making¡¡the¡¡famous¡¡Mr¡¡Merdle£»¡¡in¡¡going¡¡down¡¡the¡¡street£»¡¡appear¡¡to¡¡leap£»
and¡¡waltz£»¡¡and¡¡gyrate£»¡¡as¡¡if¡¡he¡¡were¡¡possessed¡¡of¡¡several¡¡Devils¡£




CHAPTER¡¡25¡£¡¡The¡¡Chief¡¡Butler¡¡Resigns¡¡the¡¡Seals¡¡of¡¡Office


The¡¡dinner¡­party¡¡was¡¡at¡¡the¡¡great¡¡Physician's¡£¡¡Bar¡¡was¡¡there£»¡¡and¡¡in
full¡¡force¡£¡¡Ferdinand¡¡Barnacle¡¡was¡¡there£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡his¡¡most¡¡engaging
state¡£¡¡Few¡¡ways¡¡of¡¡life¡¡were¡¡hidden¡¡from¡¡Physician£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡oftener
in¡¡its¡¡darkest¡¡places¡¡than¡¡even¡¡Bishop¡£¡¡There¡¡were¡¡brilliant¡¡ladies
about¡¡London¡¡who¡¡perfectly¡¡doted¡¡on¡¡him£»¡¡my¡¡dear£»¡¡as¡¡the¡¡most¡¡charming
creature¡¡and¡¡the¡¡most¡¡delightful¡¡person£»¡¡who¡¡would¡¡have¡¡been¡¡shocked¡¡to
find¡¡themselves¡¡so¡¡close¡¡to¡¡him¡¡if¡¡they¡¡could¡¡have¡¡known¡¡on¡¡what¡¡sights
those¡¡thoughtful¡¡eyes¡¡of¡¡his¡¡had¡¡rested¡¡within¡¡an¡¡hour¡¡or¡¡two£»¡¡and¡¡near
to¡¡whose¡¡beds£»¡¡and¡¡under¡¡what¡¡roofs£»¡¡his¡¡posed¡¡figure¡¡had¡¡stood¡£¡¡But
Physician¡¡was¡¡a¡¡posed¡¡man£»¡¡who¡¡performed¡¡neither¡¡on¡¡his¡¡own¡¡trumpet£»
nor¡¡on¡¡the¡¡trumpets¡¡of¡¡other¡¡people¡£¡¡Many¡¡wonderful¡¡things¡¡did¡¡he¡¡see
and¡¡hear£»¡¡and¡¡much¡¡irreconcilable¡¡moral¡¡contradiction¡¡did¡¡he¡¡pass¡¡his
life¡¡among£»¡¡yet¡¡his¡¡equality¡¡of¡¡passion¡¡was¡¡no¡¡more¡¡disturbed¡¡than
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among¡¡the¡¡just¡¡and¡¡unjust£»¡¡doing¡¡all¡¡the¡¡good¡¡he¡¡could£»¡¡and¡¡neither
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it¡¡may¡¡be£»¡¡can¡¡fail¡¡to¡¡be¡¡invested¡¡with¡¡an¡¡interest¡¡peculiar¡¡to¡¡the
possession¡¡of¡¡such¡¡knowledge£»¡¡Physician¡¡was¡¡an¡¡attractive¡¡man¡£¡¡Even¡¡the
daintier¡¡gentlemen¡¡and¡¡ladies¡¡who¡¡had¡¡no¡¡idea¡¡of¡¡his¡¡secret£»¡¡and
who¡¡would¡¡have¡¡been¡¡startled¡¡out¡¡of¡¡more¡¡wits¡¡than¡¡they¡¡had£»¡¡by¡¡the
monstrous¡¡impropriety¡¡of¡¡his¡¡proposing¡¡to¡¡them¡¡'e¡¡and¡¡see¡¡what¡¡I
see£¡'¡¡confessed¡¡his¡¡attraction¡£¡¡Where¡¡he¡¡was£»¡¡something¡¡real¡¡was¡£¡¡And
half¡¡a¡¡grain¡¡of¡¡reality£»¡¡like¡¡the¡¡smallest¡¡portion¡¡of¡¡some¡¡other¡¡scarce
natural¡¡producti
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