influence of which （as in the case of our friend at whose board we sat）
was habitually exercised in harmony with the best interests of Society。
Thus； instead of two rival and contending flames； a larger and a lesser；
each burning with a lurid and uncertain glare； we had a blended and a
softened light whose genial ray diffused an equable warmth throughout
the land。 Bishop seemed to like his own way of putting the case very
much； and rather dwelt upon it； Bar； meanwhile （not to throw away a
jury…man）； making a show of sitting at his feet and feeding on his
precepts。
The dinner and dessert being three hours long； the bashful Member cooled
in the shadow of Lord Decimus faster than he warmed with food and drink；
and had but a chilly time of it。 Lord Decimus； like a tall tower in a
flat country； seemed to project himself across the table…cloth； hide the
light from the honourable Member； cool the honourable Member's marrow；
and give him a woeful idea of distance。 When he asked this unfortunate
traveller to take wine； he enpassed his faltering steps with the
gloomiest of shades； and when he said； 'Your health sir！' all around him
was barrenness and desolation。
At length Lord Decimus； with a coffee…cup in his hand； began to hover
about among the pictures； and to cause an interesting speculation to
arise in all minds as to the probabilities of his ceasing to hover； and
enabling the smaller birds to flutter up…stairs； which could not be
done until he had urged his noble pinions in that direction。 After some
delay； and several stretches of his wings which came to nothing； he
soared to the drawing…rooms。
And here a difficulty arose； which always does arise when two people
are specially brought together at a dinner to confer with one another。
Everybody （except Bishop； who had no suspicion of it） knew perfectly
well that this dinner had been eaten and drunk； specifically to the end
that Lord Decimus and Mr Merdle should have five minutes' conversation
together。 The opportunity so elaborately prepared was now arrived； and
it seemed from that moment that no mere human ingenuity could so much as
get the two chieftains into the same room。 Mr Merdle and his noble guest
persisted in prowling about at opposite ends of the perspective。 It was
in vain for the engaging Ferdinand to bring Lord Decimus to look at the
bronze horses near Mr Merdle。 Then Mr Merdle evaded； and wandered away。
It was in vain for him to bring Mr Merdle to Lord Decimus to tell him
the history of the unique Dresden vases。 Then Lord Decimus evaded and
wandered away； while he was getting his man up to the mark。
'Did you ever see such a thing as this？' said Ferdinand to Bar when he
had been baffled twenty times。
'Often；' returned Bar。
'Unless I butt one of them into an appointed corner； and you butt the
other；' said Ferdinand；'it will not e off after all。'
'Very good；' said Bar。 'I'll butt Merdle； if you like； but not my lord。'
Ferdinand laughed； in the midst of his vexation。 'Confound them both！'
said he； looking at his watch。 'I want to get away。 Why the deuce can't
they e together！ They both know what they want and mean to do。 Look
at them！'
They were still looming at opposite ends of the perspective； each with
an absurd pretence of not having the other on his mind； which could not
have been more transparently ridiculous though his real mind had been
chalked on his back。 Bishop； who had just now made a third with Bar and
Ferdinand； but whose innocence had again cut him out of the subject and
washed him in sweet oil； was seen to approach Lord Decimus and glide
into conversation。
'I must get Merdle's doctor to catch and secure him； I suppose；' said
Ferdinand； 'and then I must lay hold of my illustrious kinsman； and
decoy him if I can……drag him if I can't……to the conference。'
'Since you do me the honour；' said Bar； with his slyest smile； to ask
for my poor aid； it shall be yours with the greatest pleasure。 I don't
think this is to be done by one man。 But if you will undertake to pen
my lord into that furthest drawing…room where he is now so profoundly
engaged； I will undertake to bring our dear Merdle into the presence；
without the possibility of getting away。'
'Done！' said Ferdinand。
'Done！' said Bar。
Bar was a sight wondrous to behold； and full of matter； when； jauntily
waving his double eye…glass by its ribbon； and jauntily drooping to an
Universe of jurymen； he； in the most accidental manner ever seen；
found himself at Mr Merdle's shoulder； and embraced that opportunity of
mentioning a little point to him； on which he particularly wished to
be guided by the light of his practical knowledge。 （Here he took Mr
Merdle's arm and walked him gently away。） A banker； whom we would call
A。 B。； advanced a considerable sum of money； which we would call fifteen
thousand pounds； to a client or customer of his； whom he would call P。
q。 （Here； as they were getting towards Lord Decimus； he held Mr Merdle
tight。） As a security for the repayment of this advance to P。 Q。 whom
we would call a widow lady； there were placed in A。 B。's hands the
title…deeds of a freehold estate； which we would call Blinkiter Doddles。
Now； the point was this。 A limited right of felling and lopping in
the woods of Blinkiter Doddles； lay in the son of P。 Q。 then past his
majority； and whom we would call X。 Y。……but really this was too bad！ In
the presence of Lord Decimus； to detain the host with chopping our dry
chaff of law； was really too bad！ Another time！ Bar was truly repentant；
and would not say another syllable。 Would Bishop favour him with
half…a…dozen words？ （He had now set Mr Merdle down on a couch； side by
side with Lord Decimus； and to it they must go； now or never。）
And now the rest of the pany； highly excited and interested； always
excepting Bishop； who had not the slightest idea that anything was going
on； formed in one group round the fire in the next drawing…room； and
pretended to be chatting easily on the infinite variety of small topics；
while everybody's thoughts and eyes were secretly straying towards the
secluded pair。 The Chorus were excessively nervous； perhaps as labouring
under the dreadful apprehension that some good thing was going to
be diverted from them！ Bishop alone talked steadily and evenly。 He
conversed with the great Physician on that relaxation of the throat with
which young curates were too frequently afflicted； and on the means
of lessening the great prevalence of that disorder in the church。
Physician； as a general rule； was of opinion that the best way to avoid
it was to know how to read； before you made a profession of reading。
Bishop said dubiously； did he really think so？ And Physician said；
decidedly； yes he did。
Ferdinand； meanwhile； was the only one of the party who skirmished on
the outside of the circle； he kept about mid…way between it and the
two； as if some sort of surgical operation were being performed by Lord
Decimus on Mr Merdle； or by Mr Merdle on Lord Decimus； and his services
might at any moment be required as Dresser。 In fact； within a quarter
of an hour Lord Decimus called to him 'Ferdinand！' and he went； and
took his place in the conference for some five minutes more。 Then a
half…suppressed gasp broke out among the Chorus； for Lord Decimus rose
to take his leave。 Again coached up by Ferdinand to the point of making
himself popular； he shook hands in the most brilliant manner with the
whole pany； and even said to Bar； 'I hope you were not bored by my
pears？' To which Bar retorted； 'Eton； my lord； or Parliamentary？' neatly
showing that he had mastered the joke； and delicately insinuating that
he could never forget it while his life remained。
All the grave importance that was buttoned up in Mr Tite Barnacle； took
itself away next； and Ferdinand took himself away next； to the opera。
Some of the rest lingered a little； marrying golden liqueur glasses to
Buhl tables with sticky rings； on the desperate chance of Mr Merdle's
saying something。 But Merdle； as usual； oozed sluggishly and muddily
about his drawing…room； saying never a word。
In a day or two it was announced to all the town； that Edmund Sparkler；
Esquire； son…in…law of the eminent Mr Merdle of worldwide renown； was
made one of the Lords of the Circumlocution Office； and proclamation was
issued； to all true believers； that this admirable appointment was to
be hailed as a graceful and gracious mark of homage； rendered by the
graceful and gracious Decimus； to that mercial interest which must
ever in a great mercial country……and all the rest of it； with
blast of trumpet。 So； bolstered by this mark of Government homage； the
wonderful Bank and all the other wonderful undertakings went on and went
up； and gapers came to Harley Street； Cavendish Square； only to look at
the house where the golden wonder lived。
And when they saw the Chief Butler looking out at the hall…door in
his moments of condescension； the gapers said how rich he looked； and
wondered how much money he had in the wonderful Bank。 But； if they had
known that respectable Nemesis better； they would not have wondered
about it； and might have stated the amount with the utmost precision。
CHAPTER 13。 The Progress of an Epidemic
That it is at least as difficult to stay a moral infection as a physical
one； that such a disease will spread with the malignity and rapidity of
the Plague； that the contagion； when it has once made head； will spare
no pursuit or condition； but will lay hold on people in the soundest
health； and bee developed in the most unlikely constitutions： is
a fact as firmly established by experience as that we human creatures
breathe an atmosphere。 A blessing beyond appreciation would be conferred
upon mankind； if the tainted； in whose weakness or wickedness these
virulent disorders are bred； could be instantly seized and placed in
close confinement （not to say summarily smothered） before the poison is
municable。
As a vast fire will fill the air to a great distance with its roar； so
the sacred flame which the mighty Barnacles had fanned caused the air to
resound more and more with the name of Merdle。 It was deposited on every
lip； and carried into every ear。 There never was； there never had
been； there never again should be； such a man as Mr Merdle。 Nobody；
as aforesaid； knew what he had done； but everybody knew him to be the
greatest that had appeared。
Down in Bleeding Heart Yard； where there was not one unappropriated
halfpenny； as lively an interest was taken in this paragon of men as on
the Stock Exchange。 Mrs Plornish； now established in the small grocery
and general trade in a snug little shop at the crack end of the Yard；
at the top of the steps； with her little old father and Maggy acting
as assistants； habitually held forth about him over the counter in
conversation with her customers。 Mr Plornish； who had a small share in a
small builder's business in the neighbourhood； said； trowel in hand； on
the tops of scaffolds and on the tiles of houses； that people did tell
him as Mr Merdle was the one； mind you； to put us all to rights in
respects of that which all on us looked to； and to bring us all safe
home as much as we needed； mind yo