about the provinces when the House was up； warbling the praises of their
Chief； were to be represented there。 It was understood to be a great
occasion。 Mr Merdle was going to take up the Barnacles。 Some delicate
little negotiations had occurred between him and the noble Decimus……the
young Barnacle of engaging manners acting as negotiator……and Mr Merdle
had decided to cast the weight of his great probity and great riches
into the Barnacle scale。 Jobbery was suspected by the malicious； perhaps
because it was indisputable that if the adherence of the immortal Enemy
of Mankind could have been secured by a job； the Barnacles would have
jobbed him……for the good of the country； for the good of the country。
Mrs Merdle had written to this magnificent spouse of hers； whom it was
heresy to regard as anything less than all the British Merchants since
the days of Whittington rolled into one； and gilded three feet deep all
over……had written to this spouse of hers； several letters from Rome； in
quick succession； urging upon him with importunity that now or never was
the time to provide for Edmund Sparkler。 Mrs Merdle had shown him that
the case of Edmund was urgent； and that infinite advantages might result
from his having some good thing directly。 In the grammar of Mrs
Merdle's verbs on this momentous subject； there was only one mood； the
Imperative； and that Mood had only one Tense； the Present。 Mrs Merdle's
verbs were so pressingly presented to Mr Merdle to conjugate； that his
sluggish blood and his long coat…cuffs became quite agitated。
In which state of agitation； Mr Merdle； evasively rolling his eyes
round the Chief Butler's shoes without raising them to the index of that
stupendous creature's thoughts； had signified to him his intention of
giving a special dinner： not a very large dinner； but a very special
dinner。 The Chief Butler had signified； in return； that he had no
objection to look on at the most expensive thing in that way that could
be done； and the day of the dinner was now e。
Mr Merdle stood in one of his drawing…rooms； with his back to the fire；
waiting for the arrival of his important guests。 He seldom or never took
the liberty of standing with his back to the fire unless he was quite
alone。 In the presence of the Chief Butler； he could not have done such
a deed。 He would have clasped himself by the wrists in that constabulary
manner of his； and have paced up and down the hearthrug； or gone
creeping about among the rich objects of furniture； if his oppressive
retainer had appeared in the room at that very moment。 The sly shadows
which seemed to dart out of hiding when the fire rose； and to dart back
into it when the fire fell； were sufficient witnesses of his making
himself so easy。
They were even more than sufficient； if his unfortable glances at
them might be taken to mean anything。
Mr Merdle's right hand was filled with the evening paper； and the
evening paper was full of Mr Merdle。 His wonderful enterprise； his
wonderful wealth； his wonderful Bank； were the fattening food of the
evening paper that night。 The wonderful Bank； of which he was the chief
projector； establisher； and manager； was the latest of the many Merdle
wonders。 So modest was Mr Merdle withal； in the midst of these splendid
achievements； that he looked far more like a man in possession of his
house under a distraint； than a mercial Colossus bestriding his own
hearthrug； while the little ships were sailing into dinner。
Behold the vessels ing into port！ The engaging young Barnacle was the
first arrival； but Bar overtook him on the staircase。 Bar； strengthened
as usual with his double eye…glass and his little jury droop； was
overjoyed to see the engaging young Barnacle； and opined that we were
going to sit in Banco； as we lawyers called it； to take a special
argument？
'Indeed；' said the sprightly young Barnacle； whose name was Ferdinand；
'how so？'
'Nay；' smiled Bar。 'If you don't know； how can I know？ You are in the
innermost sanctuary of the temple； I am one of the admiring concourse on
the plain without。'
Bar could be light in hand； or heavy in hand； according to the customer
he had to deal with。 With Ferdinand Barnacle he was gossamer。 Bar was
likewise always modest and self…depreciatory……in his way。 Bar was a man
of great variety； but one leading thread ran through the woof of all his
patterns。 Every man with whom he had to do was in his eyes a jury…man；
and he must get that jury…man over； if he could。
'Our illustrious host and friend；' said Bar； 'our shining mercantile
star；……going into politics？'
'Going？ He has been in Parliament some time； you know；' returned the
engaging young Barnacle。
'True；' said Bar； with his light…edy laugh for special jury…men；
which was a very different thing from his low…edy laugh for ic
tradesmen on mon juries： 'he has been in Parliament for some time。
Yet hitherto our star has been a vacillating and wavering star？ Humph？'
An average witness would have been seduced by the Humph？ into an
affirmative answer； But Ferdinand Barnacle looked knowingly at Bar as he
strolled up…stairs； and gave him no answer at all。
'Just so； just so；' said Bar； nodding his head； for he was not to be put
off in that way； 'and therefore I spoke of our sitting in Banco to take
a special argument……meaning this to be a high and solemn occasion； when；
as Captain Macheath says； 〃the judges are met： a terrible show！〃 We
lawyers are sufficiently liberal； you see； to quote the Captain； though
the Captain is severe upon us。 Nevertheless； I think I could put in
evidence an admission of the Captain's；' said Bar； with a little jocose
roll of his head； for； in his legal current of speech； he always assumed
the air of rallying himself with the best grace in the world； 'an
admission of the Captain's that Law； in the gross； is at least
intended to be impartial。 For what says the Captain； if I quote
him correctly……and if not；' with a light…edy touch of his double
eye…glass on his panion's shoulder； 'my learned friend will set me
right：
〃Since laws were made for every degree；
To curb vice in others as well as in me；
I wonder we ha'n't better pany
Upon Tyburn Tree！〃'
These words brought them to the drawing…room； where Mr Merdle stood
before the fire。 So immensely astounded was Mr Merdle by the entrance
of Bar with such a reference in his mouth； that Bar explained himself
to have been quoting Gay。 'Assuredly not one of our Westminster Hall
authorities；' said he； 'but still no despicable one to a man possessing
the largely…practical Mr Merdle's knowledge of the world。'
Mr Merdle looked as if he thought he would say something； but
subsequently looked as if he thought he wouldn't。 The interval afforded
time for Bishop to be announced。 Bishop came in with meekness； and yet
with a strong and rapid step as if he wanted to get his seven…league
dress…shoes on； and go round the world to see that everybody was in
a satisfactory state。 Bishop had no idea that there was anything
significant in the occasion。 That was the most remarkable trait in
his demeanour。 He was crisp； fresh； cheerful； affable； bland； but so
surprisingly innocent。
Bar sidled up to prefer his politest inquiries in reference to the
health of Mrs Bishop。 Mrs Bishop had been a little unfortunate in the
article of taking cold at a Confirmation； but otherwise was well。 Young
Mr Bishop was also well。 He was down； with his young wife and little
family； at his Cure of Souls。 The representatives of the Barnacle Chorus
dropped in next； and Mr Merdle's physician dropped in next。 Bar； who
had a bit of one eye and a bit of his double eye…glass for every one who
came in at the door； no matter with whom he was conversing or what he
was talking about； got among them all by some skilful means； without
being seen to get at them； and touched each individual gentleman of the
jury on his own individual favourite spot。 With some of the Chorus；
he laughed about the sleepy member who had gone out into the lobby the
other night； and voted the wrong way： with others； he deplored that
innovating spirit in the time which could not even be prevented from
taking an unnatural interest in the public service and the public money：
with the physician he had a word to say about the general health； he had
also a little information to ask him for； concerning a professional man
of unquestioned erudition and polished manners……but those credentials
in their highest development he believed were the possession of other
professors of the healing art （jury droop）……whom he had happened to
have in the witness…box the day before yesterday； and from whom he had
elicited in cross…examination that he claimed to be one of the exponents
of this new mode of treatment which appeared to Bar to……eh？……well； Bar
thought so； Bar had thought； and hoped； Physician would tell him so。
Without presuming to decide where doctors disagreed； it did appear to
Bar； vieon sense and not of so…called legal
peration； that this new system was……might be； in the presence of so
great an authority……say； Humbug？ Ah！ Fortified by such encouragement； he
could venture to say Humbug； and now Bar's mind was relieved。
Mr Tite Barnacle； who； like Dr johnson's celebrated acquaintance； had
only one idea in his head and that was a wrong one； had appeared by this
time。 This eminent gentleman and Mr Merdle； seated diverse ways and with
ruminating aspects on a yellow ottoman in the light of the fire；
holding no verbal munication with each other； bore a strong general
resemblance to the two cows in the Cuyp picture over against them。
But now； Lord Decimus arrived。 The Chief Butler； who up to this time
had limited himself to a branch of his usual function by looking at the
pany as they entered （and that； with more of defiance than favour）；
put himself so far out of his way as to e up…stairs with him and
announce him。 Lord Decimus being an overpowering peer； a bashful young
member of the Lower House who was the last fish but one caught by the
Barnacles； and who had been invited on this occasion to memorate his
capture； shut his eyes when his Lordship came in。
Lord Decimus； nevertheless； was glad to see the Member。 He was also
glad to see Mr Merdle； glad to see Bishop； glad to see Bar； glad to see
Physician； glad to see Tite Barnacle； glad to see Chorus； glad to
see Ferdinand his private secretary。 Lord Decimus； though one of the
greatest of the earth； was not remarkable for ingratiatory manners； and
Ferdinand had coached him up to the point of noticing all the fellows
he might find there； and saying he was glad to see them。 When he had
achieved this rush of vivacity and condescension； his Lordship posed
himself into the picture after Cuyp； and made a third cow in the group。
Bar； who felt that he had got all the rest of the jury and must now lay
hold of the Foreman； soon came sidling up； double eye…glass in hand。 Bar
tendered the weather； as a subject neatly aloof from official reserve；
for the Foreman's consideration。 Bar said that he was told （as everybody
always is told； though who tells them； and why； will ever remain a
mystery）； that there was to be no wall…fruit this year。 Lord Decimus